Around week 3 of last year, the questions began: Can they run the table? They’re good. They’re very, very good. Who can beat them?
Thirteen weeks later, the questions were answered – at least for the regular season. The playoffs? Well… we all know the playoff are a different story. You can ask the 2007 Northboro Steroids, who led our excellent league in wins and scoring only to get spanked by the Girls (and not in a good way) in the first round of the 2007 playoffs.
The Commish had been wailing on his unfortunate opponents for the first three weeks –average margin on victory is a stout 20 points. He is the only undefeated team left in the Nelson this season. Will the magic last through the bye weeks? The byes change the formula by erasing perfectly good players from your lineup. All of a sudden, great teams become beatable, and teams that are struggling are a lucky bounce away from a big upset. Any Given Sunday, baby…
1. Dangerous Minds – Undefeated, first in the league in Game Points (215), second in Total Points (321), Mike is stashing away Tim Hightower on his bench, who is creeping up on a regular job, and will be a red zone stud eventually. Rocky Brook gets their crack at the Big Guy this week.
2. Northboro – The Steroids are shooting up as a group – back-to-back seventy plus point weeks. This week, three of their starters get to take a seat, but there are decent alternatives on the bench. The key is to get something from Braylon Edwards who has a nice matchup against Cincinatti.
3. Georgia Satellites – Their Game Point totals – 38, 62, 72 – and their Total Points 53, 81, 117 – all point to a team getting its feet after a slow start. What a difference a week makes – all of a sudden, Lorenzo White looks like a guy we’d like to have, instead of just Chris Johnson’s blocking back.
4. Phight-in Camels – How hurt is Westbrook? This team couldn’t beat themselves in an intra-squad without the Philly Phenom scampering all over the place. Looks like he’ll play at this point, and Tony has a nice matchup against a gutted Gangster outfit.
5. Garvey’s Gangsters – They continue to score well overall, but they are now fifth in the league in Game Points – those are the ones that count. They have a whopping seven players on the bye this week. The matchup with the Camels should be a good one.
6. Rocky Brook – Just win, baby! Tom is 2-1, and came within a Deshaun Jackson brain fart of going 3-0. Sure, we can point out the fact that they’re tied for sixth in the league in Game points, and dead last in total points, but they can leap up the rankings by knocking off the high-flying minds this week.
7. Midwest Marauders – I guess the kiss of death was me complementing this team a couple of weeks ago and saying they were a threat the win the Nelson Bowl. They are five deep at running back. I’ve got a feeling they may make some noise as the weather gets colder.
8. Northern Spies – Nowhere to go but up for the Franklin contingent. They lost by 37 points last week and they face the suddenly scalding Satellites this weekend. Chris Henry’s days as a “pine bomb” are over – looks like Kevin Smith’s bye and a nice matchup against Cleveland pushes him into the starting lineup.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Jordan’s Power Rankings – Week 3
An irreverent, and perhaps irrelevant look at the Nelson League 2008.
What a remarkable Monday Night game that was – nine players in our league were active, and the scoring was hot and heavy all night, with three games hanging in the balance. John, ever the lucky lad, won his game when Deshean Jackson spiked the ball a tad early on a sure touchdown, costing Tom The New Guy 4 desperately-needed points. This came in a week that John also got 19 point from his kicker and a punt return for a touchdown from Reggie Bush.
Luck has a lot to do with Fantasy Football, as our newest league member will be the first to tell you. A few years ago, I lost an amazing amount of money in a game of acey-deucy, which set me down as a carrier of leprotic luck for all eternity. I have become convinced in my soul that luck is a zero-sum game. My bad luck, endured with as much grace as I can muster, is offset by someone else’s good luck. As a Christian, I can live with that. As a competitor, it sucks like a black hole.
My view of this was sharpened after a conversation with a co-worker, recently returned from Vegas. He told me he was hanging around the slot machines waiting for some friends to show up. Having little to do, he decided to play the one armed bandits to pass the time.
“On my third quarter, I won $400.00!,” he said.
“Wow…that’s awesome, Matt!”
“Yeah,” he said, not pausing for effect, “same thing happened to me last year…”
This weeks ratings…
1. Dangerous Minds – First in Game Points (145), tied for first in Total Points (223), undefeated at 2-0. It’s a little tough to pick anyone else for the #1 slot. Mike won Frosty Bedsheets Bowl I by 7 points over the struggling Northern Spies.
2. Phight-in Camels – Tony has cleared the very respectable 60 point mark two straight weeks, and heads to week 3 with 2 wins safely tucked away. Westbrook is out of control – that was a pretty good defense he shredded for 22 points. Deshean Jackson looks like the real deal, and Tony won despite making what could have been a real boner – sitting Anquan Boldin (25 points) who had a sweet matchup against pathetic Miami. Winning ends all second guessing.
3. Northboro Steroids – There isn’t a dime’s worth of difference statistically between Northboro and Mr. Garvey’s Gangsters right now, but Northboro is 1-0 against the Gang thanks to last week’s fine 78-point performance. Jay Cutler scored an extra 8 points while Ed Hercules was striking poses for the national viewing audience. No complaints from this seat. The Steroids would like to welcome back Brandon Marshall from his suspension. The offer to pay bail is open-ended brother…just call us.
4. Garvey’s Gangsters – The Garv is tied for the league lead in total points (223) with the Commish, and scored 58 points with Clinton Portis (16) sitting on the bench. The bye weeks will make this deep team a dangerous opponent.
5. Rocky Brook – Tom caught a brutal break that kept him from moving to 2-0. The Oilers are sixth in game points and seventh in total points after two weeks – perhaps a harbinger of trouble ahead. Next Up: the Fight-in Camels.
6. Midwest Marauders – John’s lucky run may include next week’s match against Midwest, which may be playing without LT. Hugh has Jonathan Stewart (77 yds 2 TDs, 15 points) sitting on the bench waiting for a chance. The Marauders have scored more Total Points (188) than the Phight-in Camels (180).
7. Northern Spies – The Spies have been luckless so far, but there are issues here. The running game scored 6 total points against Mike, costing them dearly. Chris Henry might help, but he is at the New York Giants this week. It’ll be interesting to see how Rich works the problems here.
8. Georgia Satellites – John is 1-1, which should push them up the stack. But they are last in Game Points (100), last in Total Points (134) and they should, if there were any justice in this universe, be 0-2. John needs a Lazerus act here. Don’t put it past him.
What a remarkable Monday Night game that was – nine players in our league were active, and the scoring was hot and heavy all night, with three games hanging in the balance. John, ever the lucky lad, won his game when Deshean Jackson spiked the ball a tad early on a sure touchdown, costing Tom The New Guy 4 desperately-needed points. This came in a week that John also got 19 point from his kicker and a punt return for a touchdown from Reggie Bush.
Luck has a lot to do with Fantasy Football, as our newest league member will be the first to tell you. A few years ago, I lost an amazing amount of money in a game of acey-deucy, which set me down as a carrier of leprotic luck for all eternity. I have become convinced in my soul that luck is a zero-sum game. My bad luck, endured with as much grace as I can muster, is offset by someone else’s good luck. As a Christian, I can live with that. As a competitor, it sucks like a black hole.
My view of this was sharpened after a conversation with a co-worker, recently returned from Vegas. He told me he was hanging around the slot machines waiting for some friends to show up. Having little to do, he decided to play the one armed bandits to pass the time.
“On my third quarter, I won $400.00!,” he said.
“Wow…that’s awesome, Matt!”
“Yeah,” he said, not pausing for effect, “same thing happened to me last year…”
This weeks ratings…
1. Dangerous Minds – First in Game Points (145), tied for first in Total Points (223), undefeated at 2-0. It’s a little tough to pick anyone else for the #1 slot. Mike won Frosty Bedsheets Bowl I by 7 points over the struggling Northern Spies.
2. Phight-in Camels – Tony has cleared the very respectable 60 point mark two straight weeks, and heads to week 3 with 2 wins safely tucked away. Westbrook is out of control – that was a pretty good defense he shredded for 22 points. Deshean Jackson looks like the real deal, and Tony won despite making what could have been a real boner – sitting Anquan Boldin (25 points) who had a sweet matchup against pathetic Miami. Winning ends all second guessing.
3. Northboro Steroids – There isn’t a dime’s worth of difference statistically between Northboro and Mr. Garvey’s Gangsters right now, but Northboro is 1-0 against the Gang thanks to last week’s fine 78-point performance. Jay Cutler scored an extra 8 points while Ed Hercules was striking poses for the national viewing audience. No complaints from this seat. The Steroids would like to welcome back Brandon Marshall from his suspension. The offer to pay bail is open-ended brother…just call us.
4. Garvey’s Gangsters – The Garv is tied for the league lead in total points (223) with the Commish, and scored 58 points with Clinton Portis (16) sitting on the bench. The bye weeks will make this deep team a dangerous opponent.
5. Rocky Brook – Tom caught a brutal break that kept him from moving to 2-0. The Oilers are sixth in game points and seventh in total points after two weeks – perhaps a harbinger of trouble ahead. Next Up: the Fight-in Camels.
6. Midwest Marauders – John’s lucky run may include next week’s match against Midwest, which may be playing without LT. Hugh has Jonathan Stewart (77 yds 2 TDs, 15 points) sitting on the bench waiting for a chance. The Marauders have scored more Total Points (188) than the Phight-in Camels (180).
7. Northern Spies – The Spies have been luckless so far, but there are issues here. The running game scored 6 total points against Mike, costing them dearly. Chris Henry might help, but he is at the New York Giants this week. It’ll be interesting to see how Rich works the problems here.
8. Georgia Satellites – John is 1-1, which should push them up the stack. But they are last in Game Points (100), last in Total Points (134) and they should, if there were any justice in this universe, be 0-2. John needs a Lazerus act here. Don’t put it past him.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Jordan's Nelson League Power Ranking - 2008
Jordan's Power Rankings for Week 2
An irreverent and perhaps irrelevant look at the Nelson League, 2008.
Hello Leaguemates! This year, I’ll be publishing weekly Power Rankings as the season moves along. The rankings below are based on five or six metrics that I made up off the top of my head. (There’s nothing else up there, so there’s plenty of room.) This is one man’s opinion, for entertainment purposes only and all the usual disclaimers apply.
1. Dangerous Minds – The Commish fired on all cylinders out of the gate, crushing Northboro by 28 points. I knew it was over when Thomas Jones scampered in for a score – if he’s scoring touchdowns, Mike will be a handful all year.
2. Garvey's Gangsters – Rich was apparently not amused by his receipt of the Stephen Award, and he showed his displeasure by spanking Team Deslauriers by ten points. More interesting, though, is that he did this without Willie Parker, who ran like a scalded dog all day and scored three touchdowns for Pittsburgh. In fact, Rich led the league in total points for the week with 116 – perhaps an indication that The Garv has some depth for the upcoming bye weeks.
3. Fight-in Camels – Tony’s going without Donovan McNabb, who got scooped by Rocky Brook, but Brian Westbrook owners are sleeping well and smiling wide these days. In week 1, Tony was the happy beneficiary of Tom Brady’s injury – only Eric Mangini was laughing harder. The savvy head Camel got 62 points from a team that scored 80 total points on the week – impressive efficiency.
4. Rocky Brook - Tom won a tight one against a very good Marauders club. There may be better weeks to come, too, as The New Guy has caught lightening in a bottle in the form of Tennessee bullet Chris Johnson. Add in Steve Smith – a recent graduate of the Milton Bradley school of Anger Management – and you have yourself a team to watch.
5. Northboro – This was not the week to play the Commissioner, but the Steroids really didn’t have too bad a week. Jay Cutler looked like a solution for the QB spot, which generated all of 1 point with Carson Palmer out there. Randy Moss lost half his value when Brady’s knee went all Dr. Seuss, but Calvin Johnson looks like a stud, and Brandon Marshall is back next week. If Michael Turner stays healthy, he may lead the NFL in rushing. With that team, he may have to.
6. Northern Spies – Ryan Grant and Marques Colston both got hurt, which killed the Spies in the game against Mr. Garvey. Grant looks like he’ll be fine, but Colston is gone for the next six weeks with a thumb injury. The depth at wideout is not there, so the Spies will have some work to do. Kevin Smith looks like an excellent pick, and Romo may now be the best QB in the game.
7. Marauders – I love this club, and I think they are a real threat to win the whole enchilada. Week 1 was more like a boot with cheese on it, though, as Hugh had a field goal blocked late and ended up losing to Tom. This team will be dangerous after some jiggering – Matt Forte had a great week on the bench and Duane Bowe dropped what would have been a second TD in the waning seconds of the game at New England.
8. Satellites - The Guy Who Always Wins has tried many different paths to victory over the years, but losing your #2 draft pick, and potentially your top scorer, in week 1 is taking it to a whole new level. Take this to the bank: with no arm waiting on the bench, John will be picking a QB on waivers this week.
An irreverent and perhaps irrelevant look at the Nelson League, 2008.
Hello Leaguemates! This year, I’ll be publishing weekly Power Rankings as the season moves along. The rankings below are based on five or six metrics that I made up off the top of my head. (There’s nothing else up there, so there’s plenty of room.) This is one man’s opinion, for entertainment purposes only and all the usual disclaimers apply.
1. Dangerous Minds – The Commish fired on all cylinders out of the gate, crushing Northboro by 28 points. I knew it was over when Thomas Jones scampered in for a score – if he’s scoring touchdowns, Mike will be a handful all year.
2. Garvey's Gangsters – Rich was apparently not amused by his receipt of the Stephen Award, and he showed his displeasure by spanking Team Deslauriers by ten points. More interesting, though, is that he did this without Willie Parker, who ran like a scalded dog all day and scored three touchdowns for Pittsburgh. In fact, Rich led the league in total points for the week with 116 – perhaps an indication that The Garv has some depth for the upcoming bye weeks.
3. Fight-in Camels – Tony’s going without Donovan McNabb, who got scooped by Rocky Brook, but Brian Westbrook owners are sleeping well and smiling wide these days. In week 1, Tony was the happy beneficiary of Tom Brady’s injury – only Eric Mangini was laughing harder. The savvy head Camel got 62 points from a team that scored 80 total points on the week – impressive efficiency.
4. Rocky Brook - Tom won a tight one against a very good Marauders club. There may be better weeks to come, too, as The New Guy has caught lightening in a bottle in the form of Tennessee bullet Chris Johnson. Add in Steve Smith – a recent graduate of the Milton Bradley school of Anger Management – and you have yourself a team to watch.
5. Northboro – This was not the week to play the Commissioner, but the Steroids really didn’t have too bad a week. Jay Cutler looked like a solution for the QB spot, which generated all of 1 point with Carson Palmer out there. Randy Moss lost half his value when Brady’s knee went all Dr. Seuss, but Calvin Johnson looks like a stud, and Brandon Marshall is back next week. If Michael Turner stays healthy, he may lead the NFL in rushing. With that team, he may have to.
6. Northern Spies – Ryan Grant and Marques Colston both got hurt, which killed the Spies in the game against Mr. Garvey. Grant looks like he’ll be fine, but Colston is gone for the next six weeks with a thumb injury. The depth at wideout is not there, so the Spies will have some work to do. Kevin Smith looks like an excellent pick, and Romo may now be the best QB in the game.
7. Marauders – I love this club, and I think they are a real threat to win the whole enchilada. Week 1 was more like a boot with cheese on it, though, as Hugh had a field goal blocked late and ended up losing to Tom. This team will be dangerous after some jiggering – Matt Forte had a great week on the bench and Duane Bowe dropped what would have been a second TD in the waning seconds of the game at New England.
8. Satellites - The Guy Who Always Wins has tried many different paths to victory over the years, but losing your #2 draft pick, and potentially your top scorer, in week 1 is taking it to a whole new level. Take this to the bank: with no arm waiting on the bench, John will be picking a QB on waivers this week.
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