Tom and Mike have taken off over the hill, leaving the rest of us to work out the details on who gets the third and fourth playoff spots. There are six teams within two games of each other among the league’s also-rans. The last four weeks will be wild.
The big news this week comes from this month’s City of Winners – Chicago, Illinois. While Barack Obama is measuring the drapes – for real this time – Hugh McCaffrey is in the process of pulling off an almost impossible feat – making the playoffs after an 0-5 start. Earnest Graham might not go this Sunday, but Jonathan Stewart (vs. Detroit) and Mo Jones-Drew are ready to rock. LT and Matt Forte are cemented into the lineup at the top RB slots.
Tony Romo, whose injury has sent ripples of anguish all over this league, may be back for Dallas, meaning that Terrell Owens becomes scary again. Duane Bowe (against New Orleans) and Donnie Avery (against San Francisco) have nice matchups. This is not a team you want to play this week.
And what unfortunate couch jockey gets to match wits and lineups against this newly minted juggernaut? Why, that would be the Northboro Steroids, of course. Fresh from a fine Sunday when they got spanked by the league’s last place team on the strength of a 65-yard carom and scamper by Reggie Wayne, the Steroids have lost three straight since moving to 5-2 and losing Stephen Jackson in week 7.
The fantasy loss sent me to bed grumpy, but it was my wife’s spill on the stairs and subsequent broken ankle that really ruined my night. Surgery is in our future to tack the ankle back together again. Keep a good thought out there…
This week’s rankings…
1. Dangerous Minds – They’re still sort of backing their way into the playoffs, but they have won six in a row, which almost never happens in this league. Last week, Drew Brees (16) and Thomas Jones (25) went bonkers against Garvey. Mike’s idea of yard work is to put an empty barrel in the middle of his yard and let the wind blow all the leaves into it. Honestly, man, buy some lottery tickets or something. They’ve lost one game so far, to the…
2. Rocky Brook Oilers –The Greasers slipped and went splat against Tony’s Camels last week, but they are sitting pretty with 6 wins and full compliment of weapons available for their second matchup with the first place Commish. Santana Moss was missed last week, but he’s back to face Dallas. Steve Smith got erased by Oakland’s Nnamdi Asomugha, who might be the best cornerback in football right now. This week, a rather pissed off Smith faces the ladies in Detroit. Mike will need to score like a 9-1 team to win this week.
3. Phight-in Camels – Tony won last week against an excellent Rocky Brook club despite getting only 2 points from Brian Westbrook. Peyton Manning is now sixth in the league in points scored among quarterbacks after a slow start. The star of this club, though, is Anquan Boldin, who leads all wide receivers with 89 points. Northboro’s Calvin Johnson is second with 72 points.
4. Midwest Marauders – As mentioned earlier, you don’t want to play this club right now. The one ray of light for Northboro is that LT is facing the Steelers in Pittsburgh – not a favorable matchup to say the least. Matt Forte is the sleeper pick of the year.
5. Northboro – The ‘Roids picked up Larry Johnson from waivers this week. This might not make much of a difference to other clubs, but Northboro has been sucking wind at the RB3 slot all season. If SJax is healthy, this could be a team to watch at the end – there is certainly nothing wrong with their receivers, and Cutler has been special all year.
6. Georgia Satellites – John’s had no luck whatsoever since Reggie Bush got hurt. He is now leading the league in Points Against – clubs have scored 661 points in 10 weeks against the Space Shots. By contract, Mike has ‘allowed’ only 496 points. Defense wins championships.
7. Garvey’s Gangsters – They sit here because they have had atrocious luck all season. Despite being second in the league in Game Points (595), they keep inventing methods of losing. Last week, they were victimized by the bye – Portis sat down, and it turns out he’s hurt anyway. This is what happens to teams when the Minds come to town. Oh – if Rich had tied the game at 63, Rich would have lost on bench points 24-23.
8. Northern Spies – They showed some spunk and some depth in beating up on the luckless Steroids. They had five players on their bench score at least nine points. This week, Romo may be back, and the Spies will try to extend John’s losing streak to 6.
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