Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 5

The Art of the Whiff

Last week, I was looking around for a receiver with Greg Jennings on the bye. I came across Chris Cooley – a solid player with nice upside – lying around on the waiver wire. Cooley had had two 8 catch games in the first two weeks, and had scored 2 touchdowns. Cooley is Jason Campbell’s binky – every time Jason gets in trouble he hucks it in Cooley’s direction.

But not last week. Last week, Cooley had zero catches for the first time since 2004. Can I pick them or what?

This colossal testament to my complete incompetence as a fantasy manager led me to investigate the whiff – which is defined as polishing up a good player with a nice matchup and having him do just about nuthin’. I looked over the last 5 weeks for players who scored 2 points or less. How we stack up so far:

Gangsters 14, Satellites 14, Northboro 11, Dangerous Minds 11, Rocky Brook 10, Spies 10, Camels 9, Marauders 7

Not all stats are meaningful, and I’m not quite sure what all this means. Mike had three whiffs last week – all from his receivers – and still racked up 76 points. The two teams leading the league in whiffs are second and eighth in this week’s rankings. We’ll track this stat for the rest of the year to see if there’s a relationship between avoiding whiffs and winning fantasy football games.

This week’s rankings…

1. Midwest Marauders – They are first in Game Points, averaging 65 points per week. They’re also first in relative won-lost percentage (.643). This is a dangerous, balanced club with three terrific receivers in Marshall, Wayne, and Andre Johnson. Nate Burleson, who is tied for second in the NFL in Targets, cannot break the starting lineup.
2. Garvey’s Gangsters – I owe Garv a word of thanks for breaking my streak of 4 straight weeks of picking a team #1 and having that club suck the pipe the following week. The win against the Satellites was not exactly impressive – the two teams recorded seven whiffs between them. Still, the Gangsters have won 3 straight, and they are leading the league in total points. Garv better oil up his A game this week – they’re playing Midwest.
3. Phite-in Camels – Tony is second in total points and third in relative won-lost percentage (.514). He’s had only 9 whiffs in the first five weeks, which means that 77.5% of the players he’s played have scored 3 point or more – a fine performance. This week, Philly plays the pathetic Raiders and Tom Brady is practicing throwing the bomb against Tennessee.
4. Northboro – They are sitting in first place at 4-1, but they are seventh in the league in Game Points at just over 50 points a game. Northboro continues to benefit from Cincinnati’s fast start, and has two exceptionally strong quarterbacks in Rivers and Schaub. They have also been exceptionally healthy so far. This week, they play a club that has traditionally given them a tough time – the Phite-in Camels.
5. Dangerous Minds – They have been riding their running backs, but that’s about to change. Braylon Edwards got traded to the Jets and he looked like a new player in his first game. If Edwards starts to score regularly, the Minds are going to explode. The question is how much their very slow 1-4 start is going to matter. They are second in the league in Game Points, and second in relative won-lost percentage (.571).
6. Northern Spies - Their 3-2 record gets buried by some anemic scoring statistics. They are sixth in total points, fifth in Game Points, and next to last in relative won-lost percentage. This week, with Calvin Johnson questionable, Dallas Clark on the bye, and Terrell Owens comatose in Buffalo, the receiving corps is a mess. Luckily, the Spies are playing a struggling Rocky Brook outfit. This one could be ugly.
7. Rocky Brook – Tom has lost three straight since Frank Gore went down. Gore is on the bye this week and seems to be progressing in his comeback – he’s listed as questionable on the web site. Some good news – Drew Brees is back from his bye last week. Some bad news – they’re playing the man-eating Giants this week.
8. Georgia Satellites – John locks up with the Brother-in-Law in Rice Bowl I – a “collision” of two 1-4 teams. John has both Ronnie Brown and Marion Barber on the bye, and Mike has tasty matchups all over the board. Tough year so far for the seven-time champ.