Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 8

A Little like Fate

Among life’s most satisfying moments are those when you analyze a situation, and make a great call. When your tea leaves tell the tale exactly as it transpires, you get that rush that comes from peeking into the future, and acting on your instincts. The illusion we have that we control our own lives and steer our own course is reinforced.

A few years back, I had an analogous moment, although not one that I recall with fondness. I was sitting in my car at the top of an icy hill waiting for a red light to turn green. I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a car rolling up the hill towards me. He was at least 1000 yards off, but I knew he would rear end me. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I watched for 40 seconds or so as he rolled up behind me. Sure enough, his car skidded into my rear bumper, and I spent the next twenty minutes on a side street exchanging insurance information.

Last week, I knew I was in trouble. My Bengals were on the bye, but I have some depth this year, so I was reasonably confident that I could squeeze points out of my bench. I got nice performances out of Greg Jennings and Tim Hightower, and the guys performed allright in general – my twin Carolina tailbacks were fantastic. Owen Daniels’ injury was a killer. But my biggest problem was figuring out who to play at Quarterback. Neither matchup was favorable – Schaub and Rivers were playing Buffalo and Oakland, respectively, and both of those teams are tough against the pass and soft against the run. Sure enough, I picked the wrong guy – Schaub had only 7, but Rivers had only 8. San Diego and Houston combined for five rushing TDs between them. It was like watching that guy roll up that icy hill, knowing I was doomed.

The bye weeks are mostly behind us, and now is the time to lay all the cards on the table and see what happens. John and Tom are playing the spoilers at this point, but everyone else is stoked and ready for the stretch run. This week’s rankings…

1. Phight-in Camels – The Phillies went down in the World Series, but the Eagles tossed the Giants around, and Tony crushed John by 16 points. The Camels have been consistent and opportunistic this year – they added waiver wire poster boy Ryan Moats this week. Miles Austin continues to light it up in Dallas. Tony can sit down, watch the Philly-Dallas game where he has 4 players, and go do yard work the rest of the weekend.
2. Midwest – They have topped 79 point three times this year, including last week’s 81-71 win over Rocky Brook. In the games that they haven’t scored well, they have averaged 50 point a game, and they are 3-2. Winning when your club doesn’t play well is a key in our league. They’ve won 4 straight, but this week Midwest takes their 6-2 record into a monumental clash with the top-seeded Camels.
3. Northboro – Everybody’s back this week, which is good, because suddenly I need a win. Greg Jennings had a good week last week, which is encouraging. My WR3 spot has been a black hole all year. It looks like my best lineup includes both Carolina running backs. I have no idea how this is going to work for the late season and playoffs, but the schedule is not promising. Carolina plays at New England week 14, at home against Minnesota week 15, and on the road at the Giants Week 16. Ugly.
4. Dangerous Minds – Their standings in the Rankings are incongruous with their 3-5 record, but their won-lost mark does not reflect their statistical performance. The Minds are second in Game Points behind Tony, and first in relative won-lost percentage. Mike has been putting his psychic gifts to work all year – his Game Point Percentage is .693, meaning that almost 70% of his team’s points have been scored by his starting lineup. They’ll play this week without Thomas Jones, but the Northern Spies have…
5. Northern Spies – …no Adrian Petersen. The Spies blasted the Gangsters by 38 last week – one of the largest margins of victory any team has recorded in this Year of the Nail Biters. The Spies have their secret decoder rings set to ‘kill,’ but they have their work cut out for them against Mike’s Dangerous Minds this week as they head into the contest without the league’s top running back.
6. Garvey’s Gangsters – The enigmatic Gangsters laid an egg last week against the Spies, scoring only 38 points. This week’s contest with Northboro boils down to watching San Diego against the Giants and Indy vs. Houston. Northboro and the Gangsters have seven players in those two games.
7. Rocky Brook – Tom barely avoids the cellar thanks to a 71 point effort last week. Just as Stephen Jackson finally finds the end zone, St. Louis goes on the bye. Jackson has been an absolute warrior for a pathetic St. Louis outfit this year, but his lack of end zone love has killed Tom this year. Jackson is actually second on the Oilers in scoring among running backs. Frank Gore is first – and he missed four weeks because of an injury. They’ll try to break their six game slide against Georgia this week.
8. Georgia Satellites – The are next-to-last in Game Points, and dead last in Relative Won-Lost Percentage (.321). Matt Ryan is proving to be a better NFL quarterback than a Fantasy League quarterback – he is ranked 13s at the position in scoring. John tries to escape the basement against Rocky Brook this week.