Live Blogging 12/13/2009

Today, we're trying something new. Instead of throwing out the rankings, we're going to build a running commentary of the week 14 games as they happen. Hang on tight and check back throughout the weekend.

12:00 PM Sunday
DeAngelo Williams and Jon Stewart are both active against the Pats today. On the downside, it's going to snow in New England today, and Carolina is playing the immortal Matt Moore at QB. John is doubling down on the Viking passing game, starting both Visanthe Shiancoe and Bernard Berrian. Here's hoping the Bengals improved defense can slow them down.

12:44
Tom is playing Jamaal Charles over Stephen Jackson – who is questionable this week. Tom has nerves of steel, man..

1:05 PM
Apparently Cincinnati will mix Larry Johnson in to the running game against the Vikings. I have no choice but to play Benson, but 15 carries against the Williams Wall is not going to win me any championships…

1:07
Mike got a 62 yard run for a TD from Ryan Grant to get his day off to a good start.

1:19 PM
My new kicker Garrett Hartley got me a field goal to get me on the board. I got to watch Matt Schaub throw a 63 yard TD to Andre Johnson. Schaub is on the bench this week - I played Rivers. I hate my life.

1:27 PM
Rich Garvey got a 1 yard dive from Ricky Williams. Peyton Manning is also off to a good start for Rich.

1:35 PM
The Northern Spies got 2 quick TDs from Dallas Clark and TO. They take the lead against Midwest.

1:56 PM
The Pats - Carolina game has turned into a punt-a-thon. The Pats are playing flat, lifeless football right now. Has Bellicheck lost them?

2:15 PM
Ocho Cinco scores a TD for Cincinnatti - my first score of the day. Incredibly, I am leading 15-12 at the moment. Garrett Hartley missed a f!@#ing extra point, proving once and for all that all kickers suck.

2:19 PM
Ray Rice took off for 59 yards and a TD against the Lions - a matchup that might win this game for John.

4:04 PM
It looks like Garvey's recievers are keeping him alive for the time being. He'll need more big performances out of his quarterback and running backs to match Tom.

4:08 PM
It's nice to see the Patriots actually playing better in the second half than the first half for once. They're 8-5. We'll take it.

4:26 PM
There's no 4:00 game on TV over here. I haven't seen that in a while.

4:31 PM
Steven Jackson is starting today with a herniated disk. He's tough, but you can't second guess Jamal Charles' 146 yards and a touchdown. Great call by Tom.

4:44 PM
Chris Johnson's scored a quick pair of touchdowns for Hugh. He's down 16. When's the last time someone went into the afternoon with a 40 point lead, and didn't win? This could be interesting.

4:51 PM
Thank god channel 4 still works. The Chargers and Cowboys are the teams we wanted to watch.

4:59 PM
I wonder what you tell a cornerback when you're going up against San Diego. Vincent Jackson is 6'5" 230, Malcolm Floyd 6'5" 225, and Antonio Gates is 6'4" 260. How does ANYONE stop them from throwing jump balls all day?

5:02 PM
Fargas just punched in a touchdown. Hugh is down 78-85. He's making a statement today...

5:13 PM
The Chargers just stopped Barber four times in a row at the goalline. The Steroids approve.

5:46 PM
I'm down 37-26 starting the second half of the 4:00 PM games. Rivers needs to have a decent second half for me here. I have Fitz and Celek going later, but this is my chance to make it an easier night.

6:08 PM
Rivers is struggling against Dallas. Schaub finished the day with 365 yards and 2 TDs. I have no one but myself to blame for missing the playoffs this year.

6:10 PM
Mike is now clobbering Tony by 30. When Hugh beats Rich Deslaurier, Mike will be in the playoffs on tie break. The big guy has nine lives this year.

Hugh has 82 points with 3 guys playing and his QB going tomorrow. He has an outside shot at the league record of 110 points set by the 2007 Northboro Steroids.

6:37
Big play for me as Rivers finds Antonio Gates for a TD. I am now down 6 - 38-32. We're playing for pride, but we're still playing.

7:15 PM
I am 6 points down, 39-33, with Fitzgerald and Celek left. The playoff seedings will be as follows:

1. Hugh
2. Tony


3. Garvey (assuming he wins against Rocky Brook today)


4. Mike (Best 7-7 club in league history?)

8:44 PM

Checking in on my game while watching Die Hard with the fam, I see that Celek got me a TD on an early drive. That gives me the win and a 7-7 record over the year. Same record as last year - with a very different result, unfortunately.

10:48 PM

The Steroids still have a chance to make the playoffs. All we need is for Anquan Boldin to score three touchdowns on Monday Night to knock Garvey out of the playoffs, and for Larry Fitzgerald to score five touchdowns in the same game, to put the Steroids over Rocky Brook in total points. Here's hoping...

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 12 in Review

Guest Star

This week, we have a special guest columnist, as my General Manager has just arrived from a five month visit Down Under. Here’s Generation Y’s most brilliant journalist in the House and on his game…

This week’s rankings….

1. Midwest: Still the team to beat at 8-4, but Kurt Warner’s concussion was a blow to Hugh’s head last week. In his absence, Matt Hasselbeck earned Hugh a whopping two points in a 55-57 loss to Mike – maybe he should have sent out Hasselback’s smoking wife Elizabeth instead. With the league’s top scoring running back and receiver, this should be the team to beat come playoff time.
2. Camels: A combination of sub-par performances and bad luck have hampered the Camels the last two weeks. While they’ve averaged just under 50 points, their opponents added a pair of 76 point efforts, just to make it harder. The Camels had a four point effort out of Tom Brady, who was too busy running from Jonathan Vilma to consider what he was doing to Tony’s poor fantasy team. This is still a solid club, although they’ll likely be hurting in the coming weeks without Desean Jackson, out with a concussion. Second in the league in points against behind Georgia, their 7-5 record is well earned.
3. Dangerous Minds: Our favorite Giants fan managed to harness a little McNabb magic against the league’s top team last week. The Minds’ two point victory made them the league leader in points scored. The Minds have scored 777 points to Midwest’s 776. After stealing Northboro’s superbowl-winning receiving corps of Marques Colston, Randy Moss and Calvin Johnson, it’s easy to see why. 6-6 is a freak accident. Mike’s team is a team to watch if he makes the playoffs.
4. Northern Spies: You gotta hand it to Rich, fifth in the league in points scored, his team always finds a way to get by. In last week’s case, they put up 76 points against Tony. It was a team effort, with all but one player scoring nine or more points… and that player (Reggie Bush) didn’t play. I still have trouble seeing where how they’ve managed to win seven games, but putting Adrian Peterson on the league leader in points against is clearly a winning formula.
5. Gangsters: Shades of 2002 resonate with this team. Dead to rights at 4-6 two weeks ago, young Ricky Williams has emerged as a legitimate #1 running back in Ronnie Brown’s absence, completely changing the look of this backfield. He’ll need that this week when he’ll have the honor of going up against Hugh, but if he could find a way to sneak into the playoffs, he could surprise a few teams.
6. Rocky Brook: Alas, their win-loss record is the only thing holding this team back. A 72 point pasting of Northboro, including the emergence of Laurence Maroney and the continued dominance of Drew Brees, make this team much more imposing now than it was at the beginning of the year. Rocky Brook could play spoiler for the Riches. This is a team to be feared as long as Maroney is getting the goal line work.
7. Northboro: A combination of injuries, bad decisions and Greg Jennings have hampered the Steroids for the entire year, but nothing could have saved them last week. Cedric Benson was declared active for last weeks game 15 minutes before he was declared inactive, leaving the Steroids with an empty running back slot. Our backs and receivers combined for a mighty seven points. We can proudly say that our 26 points surpassed a third of Rocky Brook’s 72, as Northboro dropped its third in a row. With that said, Benson’s timely return against the Lions could help salvage a playoff spot.
8. Georgia: John was the proud winner of Rice Bowl I, and he’s looking to go for the sweep. This would be an inopportune time for Mr. Dennehy to lose to the family rival. Georgia has had a rough year. Their best receiver was shut down last week along with the rest of the Patriots offense. With that said, Georgia could really put an exclamation point on their year by knocking the league’s top scoring team out of the playoffs.

Jordan's Power Rankings - Week 11

Didn’t see that coming

Last week, the bottom 3 teams in our ranking went 3-0. Only the Midwest-Northboro game followed the script, with the Marauders strolling to an easy victory. This week’s rankings are almost unchanged from last week, but the space between the clubs is a lot smaller than it was. There is only one sure thing to report – Midwest will make the playoffs.

This week’s rankings…

1. Midwest – They made it look easy in their win over Northboro, putting up a workmanlike 66 points without any particularly eye-popping performances – except perhaps for Nick Kaeding’s 15 point effort. Beanie Wells is contributing steadily now. This is the team to beat this year.
2. Phight-in Camels – Tony got slam-dunked by Mr. Garvey, who was the happy beneficiary of Ronnie Brown’s injury, and the subsequent rise of Ricky Williams to Fantasy Stud status. Tony needs an answer at the third running back slot in order to keep pace with the league’s best teams.
3. Dangerous Minds – They are 5-6, but they scored 75 points in last week’s loss. If they keep performing like that, they will be in the playoffs. If they get to the playoffs, and they face off against Midwest, our Super Bowl may be played a week early.
4. Northern Spies – They ran into an unlikely buzz saw last week, as the Georgia Satellites laid 76 points on them. There was a bit of good news, though – Terrell Owens went completely nuts in Buffalo. How does Rich play this? Owens is a difference-maker when he’s right. Obviously, he has a better rapport with Ryan Fitzpatrick than he had with Trent Edwards. It’ll be interesting to see how the Spies work this out. The matchup with Tony is the Game of the Week.
5. Northboro – Bad decisions. The Benson injury made some difference, although Hightower has a nice afternoon. What killed the Steroids was running Ocho at Nnamdi. It’s not so much that Nnamdi is a phenomenal defender – although he is all that. It’s mainly that teams just don’t throw the ball to his side of the field at all – Ocho had only five targets all day. Sitting Greg Jennings – my version of Terrell Owens this year – also killed me.
6. Rocky Brook – Tom has it really uncorked now, as they ambushed the Dangerous Minds last week, snapping Mike’s five game winning streak. Maroney’s 15 was huge, as was the terrific pick-and-play of Robbie Gould, who went for 14 points.
7. Garvey’s Gangsters - Has any player ever resurrected his career from the ashes of self-destruction and stupidity the way Ricky Williams has? Two years ago, this guy retired so he could smoke hash in Thailand. If Williams stays healthy, this club suddenly becomes scary.
8. Georgia Satellites – Out of nowhere. Unfortunately, Garvey and John will be beating on each other this week. John may have enough left in the tank to throw a monkey wrench into the playoff plans of the teams left on it schedule – The Gangsters, Dangerous Minds, and Northboro.

Happy Thankgiving to the Nelson League. I hope everyone is in good health and great spirits as we head into the holiday season.

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 10

Skip the Fluff

My son is home from Australia, and the weekend is packed. So, in the words of an old boss of mine, I’ll skip the fluff and get right to it.

This week’s rankings.

1. Midwest – I don’t want to play them, but lo…there they are on the schedule. My Carolina guys were OK on Thursday and Cedrick Benson is hurt, so Hugh’s club will be 8-3 shortly. Not a team you want to face when you need a win.
2. Phight-in Camels – Tony picked up John Forsett this week – the guy I wanted but I got there too late. Forsett has gorgeous matchups through the late season and into the playoffs, and he’s been running well. He will be a major factor in Tony’s playoff run. The matchup with the Gangsters this week did not start well for the Camels – Ricky Williams put up 23 points.
3. Dangerous Minds – They’ve won four straight and they will make the playoffs unless someone surprises them. This week, Rocky Brook brings their A Team to the Sheff for a critically important game. In terms of playoff implications, this might be the most important game on the schedule this week.
4. Northern Spies - A nice win against Northboro last week puts them in the hunt for a playoff spot. They win the tie breaker with the Steroids by virtue of having beaten them twice. Now, they need to avoid missteps – they need to take care of business against John’s Georgia Satellites this week. The depth of this team may be tested with Reggie Bush limping.
5. Northboro Steroids – Injuries and bad matchups showed up all at the same time. Benson is down, Carolina played Miami – a matchup I highlighted last week as undesirable. Ocho Cinco is face-up with Nnamdi Asomugha out in Oakland – also not good. The key becomes getting everyone back healthy for week 12. If I have a full stable for the last three weeks of the year, I could still sneak into the playoffs. At this point, however, we are a long shot.
6. Rocky Brook – They have it going on now that they are healthy. They caught a bad break last week, losing to Tony by 2 points in a week when Vincent Jackson somehow went scoreless. Tony is having one of those magic years.
7. Garvey’s Gangsters – The dynamics have changed a bit with Ronnie Brown’s injury, which turns Ricky Williams into one of the top 5 running backs in fantasy Football. Rich has Peyton Manning and Joseph Addai scoring well. Vernon Davis is has had a great year. Santonio Holmes should get a start against KC this week – there’s no way he doesn’t score against the awful Chiefs.
8. Georgia Satellites – John is looking to ruin someone’s Sunday. This week, the Spies show up looking to bolster their playoff Bona Fides. John is playing Tony Gonzales over Roddy White against the Giants – we’ll see how this works out.

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 9

Matchups

Right now, the distance between the top scoring team in the Nelson (Dangerous Minds, 64.7 PPG) and the bottom-scoring team (Georgia, 53.8) is less than 11 points a week. With parity like that, games frequently come down to decisions and intangibles, such as points against. After 9 weeks, Georgia is leading the league in Points Against (580, 64.4 points per week), while the Northern Spies have been a rolling power outage all season, giving up a league low 467 points (51.9 Points per week).

Points against is an example of an important factor that simply cannot be measured – a pure intangible. Byes and matchup are two more. Last week, Mike was fortunate to match up with a declawed Northern Spies outfit, who was substituting Clinton Portis for Andrian Petersen because of the bye week. In typical fashion, I get to play that same Northern Spies team this week with Petersen set to feast on the pussycats from Detroit. Bad timing, and there is no way to plan or coach around that situation.

The ability to read matchups is a key to good fantasy management. There is no sure formula – sometimes a guy will go off against a team that usually defends him well, as Cedrick Benson has this year in his games against Baltimore. Here’s a few observations on matchups as we head into week 10:

• Play running backs against Oakland, but not QBs. The Raiders are pretty decent against the pass, but they’ve been giving up oodles of yardage on the ground this year. One reinforces the other – if a team is ripping off 7 yards a carry, they will be content to hand the ball off all afternoon.
• Play receivers against Tennessee. Last week, the Titans intercepted Alex Smith three times, but Vernon Davis had 10 catches for 102 yards and some dude named Jason Hill had 2 TD receptions. This has been happening all year – the Titans have no pass rush with Albert Heyworth gone.
• Do not play running backs against Miami. Miami is incredible at holding on to the football, and they can’t stop the pass. So, after watching Miami grind nine minutes off the clock, teams drop back and toss the ball with impunity. This has happened with the Colts, Patriots, Chargers and Saints so far this year – and that’s only the games I’ve watched myself.
• Play running backs against New Orleans. This might seem counter-intuitive. If the Saints offense is rolling, you would figure teams would have to throw against them. But teams that commit to the run – Atlanta and Carolina come to mine – have had much success against New Orleans.
• Don’t play anyone against Indy and New England – They are not only terrific on offense, but both these clubs are dynamite defensively as well. Add to that the usual problem of trying to come back against Peyton and Brady, and you have a real House of Horrors. Ditto for Pittsburgh with Polamalu back. Avoid…avoid.

This week’s rankings…

1. Phight-in Camels – They won a pivotal matchup against a terrific Midwest club last week, and they hang onto the #1 spot for the fourth week in a row. They have the #1 running back in the league in Mo Jo Drew. Drew has a sore knee and is facing a very tough Jets defense in New York this week. Undrafted Miles Austin is now the #3 receiver in our league – a great waiver addition for Tony.
2. Northboro – An 85 point explosion last week vaults the Steroids into second in the rankings. Choppy water is ahead, though – the Bengals travel to Pittsburgh this week and DeAngelo Williams is dragging a leg into Sunday’s tilt with Atlanta. Williams is a dreaded game-time decision, so you can bet I’ll be hitting Mass on Saturday Night this week.
3. Midwest Marauders – Hugh is a prohibitive favorite as he heads down to Georgia for some warm Southern Hospitality. Andre Johnson is on the bye, but Nate Burleson against Arizona’s 29th ranked pass defense is a nice bench option. Kurt Warner gets promoted to the starting lineup after shredding the Bears for five TDs last week.
4. Dangerous Minds – They are playing well, have won three straight, and their Rabbits feet are jacked up to 11. Two weeks ago, it was the Steroids with no Bengals. Last week, the Spies with no Petersen. This week – Garvey’s Gangsters, who are forced to play lame-ass Willis McGahee because Brandon Jacobs and Steve Slaton are both on the bye. McGahee has 12 yards rushing in the last six weeks. It probably wouldn’t matter anyway – Mike hasn’t scored less than 68 points since week 4.
5. Northern Spies – They were wretched last week, scoring only 41 points with Adrian on the bye. Ah, but this week all the winds are at their back – Petersen against the Lions, Reggie Bush, Pierre Thomas and Jeremy Shockey against St. Louis. Life is good when you’re playing Northboro.
6. Garvey’s Gangsters – Nothing is going right for the Garv. Dangeous Minds come to town red hot, and Rich is packing nerf pistols for the big gun fight. Incredibly, they are still first in total points (931), but they are dead last in Game Points (480). Vernon Davis has been a terrific addition for the Gangsters.
7. Rocky Brook – Gore is back and the Radar Boys are heating up again. They have Drew Brees unleashed, and Vincent Jackson is the league’s #1 receiver. The matchup with top-ranked Tony is going to be a great one. The key to this team is Stephen Jackson. If he scores, this is a very dangerous club.
8. Georgia - Next-to-Last in Game Points, and dead last in Relative Won-Lost Percentage, John is struggling through a brutal season. Ray Rice and Rashard Mendenhall have been bright spots. They’ll tee it up against a pissed-off Midwest outfit this week.

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 8

A Little like Fate

Among life’s most satisfying moments are those when you analyze a situation, and make a great call. When your tea leaves tell the tale exactly as it transpires, you get that rush that comes from peeking into the future, and acting on your instincts. The illusion we have that we control our own lives and steer our own course is reinforced.

A few years back, I had an analogous moment, although not one that I recall with fondness. I was sitting in my car at the top of an icy hill waiting for a red light to turn green. I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw a car rolling up the hill towards me. He was at least 1000 yards off, but I knew he would rear end me. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I watched for 40 seconds or so as he rolled up behind me. Sure enough, his car skidded into my rear bumper, and I spent the next twenty minutes on a side street exchanging insurance information.

Last week, I knew I was in trouble. My Bengals were on the bye, but I have some depth this year, so I was reasonably confident that I could squeeze points out of my bench. I got nice performances out of Greg Jennings and Tim Hightower, and the guys performed allright in general – my twin Carolina tailbacks were fantastic. Owen Daniels’ injury was a killer. But my biggest problem was figuring out who to play at Quarterback. Neither matchup was favorable – Schaub and Rivers were playing Buffalo and Oakland, respectively, and both of those teams are tough against the pass and soft against the run. Sure enough, I picked the wrong guy – Schaub had only 7, but Rivers had only 8. San Diego and Houston combined for five rushing TDs between them. It was like watching that guy roll up that icy hill, knowing I was doomed.

The bye weeks are mostly behind us, and now is the time to lay all the cards on the table and see what happens. John and Tom are playing the spoilers at this point, but everyone else is stoked and ready for the stretch run. This week’s rankings…

1. Phight-in Camels – The Phillies went down in the World Series, but the Eagles tossed the Giants around, and Tony crushed John by 16 points. The Camels have been consistent and opportunistic this year – they added waiver wire poster boy Ryan Moats this week. Miles Austin continues to light it up in Dallas. Tony can sit down, watch the Philly-Dallas game where he has 4 players, and go do yard work the rest of the weekend.
2. Midwest – They have topped 79 point three times this year, including last week’s 81-71 win over Rocky Brook. In the games that they haven’t scored well, they have averaged 50 point a game, and they are 3-2. Winning when your club doesn’t play well is a key in our league. They’ve won 4 straight, but this week Midwest takes their 6-2 record into a monumental clash with the top-seeded Camels.
3. Northboro – Everybody’s back this week, which is good, because suddenly I need a win. Greg Jennings had a good week last week, which is encouraging. My WR3 spot has been a black hole all year. It looks like my best lineup includes both Carolina running backs. I have no idea how this is going to work for the late season and playoffs, but the schedule is not promising. Carolina plays at New England week 14, at home against Minnesota week 15, and on the road at the Giants Week 16. Ugly.
4. Dangerous Minds – Their standings in the Rankings are incongruous with their 3-5 record, but their won-lost mark does not reflect their statistical performance. The Minds are second in Game Points behind Tony, and first in relative won-lost percentage. Mike has been putting his psychic gifts to work all year – his Game Point Percentage is .693, meaning that almost 70% of his team’s points have been scored by his starting lineup. They’ll play this week without Thomas Jones, but the Northern Spies have…
5. Northern Spies – …no Adrian Petersen. The Spies blasted the Gangsters by 38 last week – one of the largest margins of victory any team has recorded in this Year of the Nail Biters. The Spies have their secret decoder rings set to ‘kill,’ but they have their work cut out for them against Mike’s Dangerous Minds this week as they head into the contest without the league’s top running back.
6. Garvey’s Gangsters – The enigmatic Gangsters laid an egg last week against the Spies, scoring only 38 points. This week’s contest with Northboro boils down to watching San Diego against the Giants and Indy vs. Houston. Northboro and the Gangsters have seven players in those two games.
7. Rocky Brook – Tom barely avoids the cellar thanks to a 71 point effort last week. Just as Stephen Jackson finally finds the end zone, St. Louis goes on the bye. Jackson has been an absolute warrior for a pathetic St. Louis outfit this year, but his lack of end zone love has killed Tom this year. Jackson is actually second on the Oilers in scoring among running backs. Frank Gore is first – and he missed four weeks because of an injury. They’ll try to break their six game slide against Georgia this week.
8. Georgia Satellites – The are next-to-last in Game Points, and dead last in Relative Won-Lost Percentage (.321). Matt Ryan is proving to be a better NFL quarterback than a Fantasy League quarterback – he is ranked 13s at the position in scoring. John tries to escape the basement against Rocky Brook this week.
   

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 7

Oh, The Horror

I am writing this column surrounded by kids in Halloween costumes, who are setting the stage for teenage obesity by consuming massive amounts of sugar at an EMC holiday event. I highly approve of Halloween – it instills in the young two pillars of modern life – terror and bad eating habits.

I got a head start on both this week when I was munching Peanut Butter Cups (purchased a little too early) while watching Monday Night Football and checking out this week’s matchup with the Dangerous Minds. Suddenly I realized that I would be playing this week without my best running back, my best kicker, or my best wide receiver – Ocho, Gostkowski and Ced Ben. Then, Mike trades for Calvin Johnson. If Johnson is healthy, he’s playing St. Louis. Mike is aiming for triple figures this week. He owes me a pasting after dropping a 1 point decision to me week 1.

We are halfway through already – it’s difficult to believe how fast the season is flying by. John, Mike and Tom are on life support, but five other clubs are battling for 4 playoff spots. Hugh and I are set up to run into the playoffs if we can get to 8 wins. Anything less than that is a roll of the dice this season.

This week’s rankings…

1. Fight-in Camels – Everyone in New England is on their knees praying for the Phillies right now, and a few of those blessings are spilling over to the Camels, who continue to lead the league in Game Points (448). That’s 64 points a week – a very impressive season-long performance. Last week’s close loss to the resurgent Dangerous Minds notwithstanding, this continues to be a team to be reckoned with. Miles Austin has come out of nowhere to contribute big.
2. Northboro Steroids – This is hell week for the Steroids – we’re giving Mike an inadvertent walkover because of bye weeks. But the Steroids are finished with bye week issues after week 8, and have proven tough customers when running at full strength, as reflected in their .612 Relative Won-Lost Percentage. Matt Schaub has been spectacular for the Steroids – only Mr. Thomas Brady has put up more points at quarterback.
3. Midwest Marauders – In these pass-happy days, it’s good to have top-notch receivers. So how happy is the 5-2 Chicago Mob to be packing the #1 (Reggie Wayne) and #3 (Andre Johnson) wideouts in the league? Hugh can also point at himself as a primary driver of his own success. He has posted 10 whiffs in seven weeks so far – they are squeezing value out of every position on the roster.
4. Garvey’s Gangsters – Rich is the King of the Bench Points – his club racked up 148 points last week including 83 off the bench. In fact, Rich’s Game Point Percentage (Game Points divided by Total Points) is .508 – last in the league. All that aside, The Garv has a boatload of talent including Laurence Tynes of the Giants, who is the #1 kicker in the league at the moment. An importance matchup with the Northern Spies is on tap for this week.
5. Dangerous Minds – Mike is pulling out all the stops – even pulling off a trade for Calvin Johnson this week – in an attempt to make a late playoff run. He needs to win this week’s matchup against Northboro – who is coming to dinner without their dentures. Mike’s Game Point Percentage (.707) is far and away the best mark in the league, so he is managing at a Bellicheckian level so far this year. This is the scariest club in the league, despite their record.
6. Northern Spies – The club that has been winning ugly all season lost ugly last week. The Spies are seventh in Game Points, fifth in Total Points and seventh in relative won-lost percentage. If they win this week’s matchup with Garvey, they’ll also be well on their way to a playoff berth.
7. Georgia Satellites – John suffered his usual travails against Northboro last week, losing to them for the fifth straight time going back to 2007. They have cleared 80 points twice in the last month, however, so the seven time champ could give the imposing Camels a run this week.
8. Rocky Brook – Last week was a better week for Tom’s luckless Oilers, as they put up 60 points for the first time since week 2. They’ll take another shot at it with Midwest this week.
   

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 6

Losing so Good

Mike and I shared a common fate last week – we had the best week of our respective seasons, and we got slapped by a club having an even better week. Sometimes, the stars are aligned against you and your fate is written before the opening kickoff.

I was in the uncomfortable position of watching Tom Brady lead the Patriots to a 59-0 victory against suddenly hapless Tennessee, while scorching the Steroids for 31 points. The 92 points in a losing effort is the league record going back to 2007.

Mike was the happy beneficiary of Brady’s record-breaking day, as Randy Moss posted 24 points. Unfortunately for the Big Guy, Brady had plenty to spare for Wes Welker, who scored 19 for John. So Mike and I scored 172 points between us last week, and had only a tick in the loss column to show for it. It’s like getting a King-deuce in acey-deucy…and Lord Knows I’ve been there.

A couple of years ago, Hugh McCaffery wrote the book on overachieving in losing efforts. He played a donnybrook with Northboro week 2, losing 94-84. As an encore, Northboro and Midwest went to the tie breaker in week 9, with Northboro winning an 89-89 standoff on bench points. So Hugh put 173 points on Northboro during 2007 and came up empty. I got my payback that year when I rolled into the playoffs with a 10-4 team and laid down a large steaming turd in my first round playoff matchup with the Girls. In Fantasy Football, we are all Fortune’s Fool.

This week’s rankings…

1. Fight-in Camels – It took six weeks to eliminate the guesswork and tab one team as the unquestioned Team to Beat in 2009. Last week, the Lotierzo juggernaut rolled over a game Northboro squad and is now numero uno in virtually every statistical category. The most impressive part of last week’s win was the fact that Tony’s Eagles had little to do with it – Brady, MJD and Hines Ward were spectacular. Tony is also managing his ass off – he has posted only 10 whiffs in 6 weeks. This week's matchup against Mike’s Dangerous Minds should be a classic.
2. Northboro – A great week went to waste against Tony, but the Steroids are well positioned for a playoff run. The team’s playing great, health is ok, and there is some depth to defend against injuries. The Steroids look to get back on the beam against the suddenly hot Georgia Satellites.
3. Midwest Marauders – The Marauders snuck out of town with a win against Garvey last week. They are third in the league in Total Points, second in Relative Won-Lost Percentage, and they have posted only 9 whiffs in six week, which is outstanding. Midwest has a tough task this week against the Northern Spies – they are playing without Chris Johnson and Brandon Marshall, so Duane Bowe and Marshawn Lynch will see the starting lineup.
4. Northern Spies – On the other hand, Adrian Petersen is lining up against the Pittsburgh run defense this week, so the Spies are not enjoying an easy week against the Marauders, either. The posted lineup has three tight ends – Shockey, Dallas Clark and Antonio Gates. Becky and Linda would be lovin’ it.
5. Dangerous Minds – They’re last in the league at 1-5, but they are second in the league in Total Points and third in Relative Won-Lost Percentage. I do not get paid enough to figure out where to put a team like this. They play the top-ranked Camels in a must win for the Minds.
6. Garvey’s Gangsters – It was nice while it lasted. Rich went to the McGahee well once too often, and watched Ray Rice take Willis’ job away. To be fair to Rich, however, he was hit with several key players on the bye last week, including Peyton Manning. No such reprieve for Rocky Brook this week- Manning is facing Our Lady of Mercy – AKA the St. Louis Rams.
7. Georgia Satellites – They claw their way out of last place in the rankings with an 85 point effort against Mike. John heads into the matchup with Northboro without Ray Rice, who has been white hot. Matt Ryan is starting to heat up. Ronnie Brown is the #4 running back in the league in scoring right now.
8. Rocky Brook – Nothing is going right for Tom since Gore went down week 2. They have 4 guys on their entire roster with position rankings less than 20 – and two of those are Brees and Joe Flacco. They will try to snap their 4 game skid against Mr. Garvey.
   

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 5

The Art of the Whiff

Last week, I was looking around for a receiver with Greg Jennings on the bye. I came across Chris Cooley – a solid player with nice upside – lying around on the waiver wire. Cooley had had two 8 catch games in the first two weeks, and had scored 2 touchdowns. Cooley is Jason Campbell’s binky – every time Jason gets in trouble he hucks it in Cooley’s direction.

But not last week. Last week, Cooley had zero catches for the first time since 2004. Can I pick them or what?

This colossal testament to my complete incompetence as a fantasy manager led me to investigate the whiff – which is defined as polishing up a good player with a nice matchup and having him do just about nuthin’. I looked over the last 5 weeks for players who scored 2 points or less. How we stack up so far:

Gangsters 14, Satellites 14, Northboro 11, Dangerous Minds 11, Rocky Brook 10, Spies 10, Camels 9, Marauders 7

Not all stats are meaningful, and I’m not quite sure what all this means. Mike had three whiffs last week – all from his receivers – and still racked up 76 points. The two teams leading the league in whiffs are second and eighth in this week’s rankings. We’ll track this stat for the rest of the year to see if there’s a relationship between avoiding whiffs and winning fantasy football games.

This week’s rankings…

1. Midwest Marauders – They are first in Game Points, averaging 65 points per week. They’re also first in relative won-lost percentage (.643). This is a dangerous, balanced club with three terrific receivers in Marshall, Wayne, and Andre Johnson. Nate Burleson, who is tied for second in the NFL in Targets, cannot break the starting lineup.
2. Garvey’s Gangsters – I owe Garv a word of thanks for breaking my streak of 4 straight weeks of picking a team #1 and having that club suck the pipe the following week. The win against the Satellites was not exactly impressive – the two teams recorded seven whiffs between them. Still, the Gangsters have won 3 straight, and they are leading the league in total points. Garv better oil up his A game this week – they’re playing Midwest.
3. Phite-in Camels – Tony is second in total points and third in relative won-lost percentage (.514). He’s had only 9 whiffs in the first five weeks, which means that 77.5% of the players he’s played have scored 3 point or more – a fine performance. This week, Philly plays the pathetic Raiders and Tom Brady is practicing throwing the bomb against Tennessee.
4. Northboro – They are sitting in first place at 4-1, but they are seventh in the league in Game Points at just over 50 points a game. Northboro continues to benefit from Cincinnati’s fast start, and has two exceptionally strong quarterbacks in Rivers and Schaub. They have also been exceptionally healthy so far. This week, they play a club that has traditionally given them a tough time – the Phite-in Camels.
5. Dangerous Minds – They have been riding their running backs, but that’s about to change. Braylon Edwards got traded to the Jets and he looked like a new player in his first game. If Edwards starts to score regularly, the Minds are going to explode. The question is how much their very slow 1-4 start is going to matter. They are second in the league in Game Points, and second in relative won-lost percentage (.571).
6. Northern Spies - Their 3-2 record gets buried by some anemic scoring statistics. They are sixth in total points, fifth in Game Points, and next to last in relative won-lost percentage. This week, with Calvin Johnson questionable, Dallas Clark on the bye, and Terrell Owens comatose in Buffalo, the receiving corps is a mess. Luckily, the Spies are playing a struggling Rocky Brook outfit. This one could be ugly.
7. Rocky Brook – Tom has lost three straight since Frank Gore went down. Gore is on the bye this week and seems to be progressing in his comeback – he’s listed as questionable on the web site. Some good news – Drew Brees is back from his bye last week. Some bad news – they’re playing the man-eating Giants this week.
8. Georgia Satellites – John locks up with the Brother-in-Law in Rice Bowl I – a “collision” of two 1-4 teams. John has both Ronnie Brown and Marion Barber on the bye, and Mike has tasty matchups all over the board. Tough year so far for the seven-time champ.

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 4

Last week, the ground was leveled in the Nelson League. Bottom feeders Georgia and Dangerous Minds picked up much-needed victories. Tony’s top-seeded Camels got slapped by Rich Garvey’s Gangsters, and the undefeated Spies popped the cork for the 1972 Dolphins by losing their first game of the season.

The league is so even this year that the records almost mean nothing at all. Wins and losses are factored into the ratings, but the underlying analysis suggests that the best teams in this league are not leading in the standings. This week’s rankings…

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – They have never been in the #1 spot in the rankings before, but they are this week’s Team You Don’t Want to Play. They are second in Game Points (239), first in total points (460), and first in Relative Won/Lost Percentage (.571). They have been dominant in the last two weeks, with Peyton Manning and Willis McGahee leading the way. This week, they try to keep the momentum going against Georgia.
2. Midwest Marauders – They lost a brutal heartbreaker to Northboro last week, but they are first in Game Points (245) after 4 weeks. The strength of the team is in its receiving corps – Brandon Marshall looks like he’s ready to contribute as he did for the Northboro Steroids last year. Andre Johnson and Reggie Wayne have been terrific.
3. Northern Spies – They are 3-1, and are second in the league in total points (393). They head to week 5 with a pile of guys on the bye, but they have solid replacements at QB (Rothlisberger vs. Detroit) and kicker (Kris Brown against Arizona). Problems are showing up at running back – Lendale White has scored 9 points in 4 weeks and Pierre Thomas is on the bye. Watch Calvin Johnson this week – Pittsburgh is struggling without Polomalu.
4. Northboro – They are 3-1, but they have scored a puny 201 Game Points through 4 weeks – last in the league. They are leading the league in luck, though. Northboro's three wins came by a total of 7 points. The Steroids get everyone back this week, and they face a struggling Rocky Brook club whose top scorer is on the bye.
5. Phite-in Camels – Tony’s fortunes tend to fluctuate with the Eagles’ performance. Westbrook is probable this week and faces a wimpy Tampa Bay run defense. MoJo Drew has been a stud. Deshean Jackson has emerged as one of the most dangerous receivers in football.
6. Dangerous Minds – It’s starting to come together, but the names are not the ones Mike expected to be playing. Pierre Garcon and Glen Coffee were not heavily-discussed on draft day – I never heard of either of them until two weeks ago. Mike is improvising, and dividends are starting to tumble in.
7. Rocky Brook – They have been really scraping ever since Frank Gore went down. They have scored 63 points over the last two weeks. They look to get back on the horse against the Steroids.
8. Georgia Satellites – They resurrected their season by crushing the undefeated Northern Spies, 80 – 53. They may have caught the wave on both Rashard Mendenhall and Mike Sims-Walker, who combined for 37 points last week. This week, they tee it up against the #1 team in our rankings – the gunning Gangsters. This could be a beauty.
   

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 3

Pity the fool who tries to piece together cogent and insightful analysis of the 2009 Nelson League. Last week, Rocky Brook rose to the top of heap on the strength of a great week 2 performance from Frank Gore. In week 3, Gore got two carries – one for 4 yards and one from his teammates to the locker room to treat a leg injury. The rest of the Oilers went to the showers in spirit – they scored 34 points and got slammed by the Camels.

Meanwhile, third seed Northboro managed to leave 60 points on the bench while losing to the undefeated Spies, and the bottom-seeded Garvey Gangsters had a great weekend, thumping the luckless Dangerous Minds.

So, the last are first and the first are last, as St. Luke reminds us, and we get to stir the early-season pot while heading into the first bye week. This week’s ranking…

1. Fight-in Camels – They were first in these rankings two weeks ago, took a one week hiatus, then leapt back on top with a dominant win over Tom. Tony sticks with what he knows – he even picked up former Eagle Correll Bucklhaulter on waivers last week. But it was MoJo Drew’s 24 points that delivered the winning right cross for Tony last week. Also notable was the 64 point performance by the bench – the Camels now lead the league in total points (322) through the first three weeks.
2. Midwest Marauders – Statistically, they are dead even with Tony. They lead the league in Game Points with 202, and also first in Relative Won/Lost Percentage at .619. (Relative Won-Lost is calculated as if each team played every other team in the league every week. So, if you score more than every other club in a given week, you go 7-0. If you score the second most points, you go 6-1, and so on. So far, the Marauders are a nifty 13-8 on the year.)
3. Northern Spies – The Denver Broncos of the Nelson. So far, their opponent have scored 37, 49, and 33 points. No apologies for this are expected from the Spies front office, who went 0-5 to start last year. They head to Georgia a perfect 3-0 on the year.
4. Rocky Brook – Gore is out for the next month, and Stephen Jackson has yet to find pay dirt for the Oilers. Drew Brees is leading the league in scoring (52), and Vincent Jackson is quickly turning into an elite wide receiver. With Elam on the bye, Tom may need to pick up a kicker this week.
5. Northboro – It all fell apart when Arizona laid an egg against a ferocious Indianapolis pass rush. I had that game completely wrong on every level, and it cost me big. Also expensive were two touchdown passes that grazed the finger tips of Chad OchoCinquo, and Phillip Rivers’ inability to throw a touchdown pass. (He did run for one.) Northboro is healthy so far, but they have five players on the bye, including DeAngelo Williams.
6. Garvey’s Gangsters – They won big last week and are starting to pull things together after a slow start. Peyton Manning and Willis McGahee have been spectacular so far. This week, they play a hot Camels squad that is playing without their Eagles.
7. Dangerous Minds – This club is waaaaay too good to be here, but they’re next to last in the league in total points – that does not bode well heading into the bye weeks. This week, they are playing without Michael Turner (bye) and Felix Jones (PCL strain). They try to get off the snide against explosive Rocky Brook.
8. Georgia Satellites– It would be difficult to imagine a worse start. They are last in Game Points, last in Total Points, and last in Relative Won/Lost Percentage (5-16, .238). This week, they play the league’s only undefeated team, but they have some juicy matchups with Forte against the Detroit and Ray Rice against New England.

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 2

In week 2, two teams stepped out of the pack and staked a claim to the top spot in our Power Rankings. The Rocky Brook Oilers got 246 yards from scrimmage and 2 touchdowns from Frank Gore, and another 18 points from the amazing Drew Brees to stomp the Georgia Satellites 85-59. The Midwest Marauders, who lost a close one to Rocky Brook week 1, plowed the Fight-in camels by 50. Leading the way were two guys we mentioned in this space last week – Chris Johnson (31 points) and Andrew Johnson (19 points).

On the down side, it is rather surprising to see the Dangerous Minds and Georgia Satellites lying prone at 0-2. Mike and John are not used to this – it will be interesting to see how these two masters respond to this early-season adversity.

This weeks Rankings…

1. Rocky Brook – They’re 2-0, and coming off a spectacular week. Early season analysis has them sitting second in Game Points (153) and third in Total Points (210), but that Week 1 win over the Marauders gives them the tiebreak advantage.
2. Midwest Marauders – They are first in Game Points (156), and first in Total Points (224). But, they are 1-1, so this is as high as we can place them this week. They have Johnson and Johnson leading the way. Tomlinson looks like a second round swing and miss, but Fred Jackson has been brilliant. Hugh has a championship look this year.
3. Northboro – Two solid weeks have the Phoenix at 2-0, with contributions coming from all over the roster. Last week, Greg Jennings whiffed against Cincinnati, but Chad OchoCinquo has a solid week and Phillip Rivers has been terrific. Northboro left 50 points on the bench, playing Michael Bush over Tim Hightower and Cedrick Benson (141 yards). This week they get a test against the undefeated Spies.
4. Northern Spies – Statistically, the Spies come out 6th in our analysis, but they get a boost for showing up in week 3 undefeated. The Spies are thoroughly enjoying Adrian Petersen’s spectacular performances, but they are having trouble sorting out their RB2 and RB3 slots. Calvin Johnson has been excellent. This week, they face a very solid Northboro club.
5. Fight-in Camels – Tony is riding the wave of a great week 1, but this is a team with serious questions. Brian Westbrook and Tom Brady are both under examination by Fantasy Owners. Could these two players be in for down years? Brady looked lost against a ferocious New York Jets blitz scheme last week, and Westbrook’s injuries seem to be serious enough that he’s having trouble playing through them. With McNabb on the shelf, and unlikely to be completely healthy for weeks, Westbrook is bound to be the focus of opposing defenses through the good weather weeks.
6. Dangerous Minds – They are 0-2, and looking to sort out a mess. Moss, McNabb and Braylon Edwards have been pretty quiet so far. Percy Harvin has scored both weeks, so he may provide some help off the bench. McNabb and Matt Hasselback, who Mike picked up on waivers last week, are both banged up. The record for blowing up quarterbacks is held by a Northboro club that had six starting QBs go down with injuries in the first six weeks. I finished that sad season with Doug Flutie at the helm. Cutler had a decent game against Pittsburgh last week, so the solution may already be here.
7. Georgia Satellites – Look no further than John’s first round draft pick to pinpoint the difficulties in Georgia. Matt Forte has been a bust so far, but his struggles are largely due to his playing Pittsburgh, who is a wall, and Green Bay, who stacked the box all afternoon to stop him. Beyond Tony Gonzalez, the receiving corps is a mess. With Matt Ryan, Gonzalez, and Roddy White headed to New England this week, I’ve got a cold beer on ice for Mr. Nelson – kickoff’s at 1:00 pm Sunday, big guy.
8. Garvey’s Gangsters – The Gangsters have been reduced to jay walking and parking violations so far. They are last in Game Points, next to last in Total Points, and they are 0-2. They’ll try to get off the matt against a Dangerous Minds club that needs a win.
   
   

Jordan's 2009 Power Rankings - Week 1

In 2008, the Nelson saw one team finish over .500 during the regular season. The rest of the league finished either at .500 or a couple games below. In week 1 of 2009, no team scored 70 points, and every team but one scored at least 50.

This type of parity is really unusual. I have played in a number of leagues over the last twenty years. I have friends who have played in about a dozen more. Rarely do you find a league where more than a couple of owners really know their stuff, and consistently build teams that are threats to win the title.

Going on very little data, we can quickly gather that this year is going to be another scrum. No one made a statement in week one. To your laser-eyed correspondent, however, some emerged more equal than others. This week’s Power Rankings…

1. Fight-in Camels – They scored 107 total points last week, and had two good things happen. Roy Williams had a great game for Dallas, setting him up for a possible comeback year. And Ladanian Tomlinson went down with an ankle injury in week 1, increasing the value of Darren Sproles. The bad news is the injury to Donny McNabb, because Tony typically ties his fantasy team performance very tightly to the Eagles. Akers, Westbrook and Jackson are all here, and will be affected if the Philly offense struggles.
   
2. Northboro – The proud owners of the Stephen Cup squeezed out a win against the Dangerous Minds – the first time they’ve beaten the commish in a few years. Northboro has some balance and some bench – they scored 98 points total on the week. No one in the starting lineup scored over 13 points.
   
3. Dangerous Minds – They lost by a nose hair to Northboro week one – a game so close it took until Tuesday to determine the winner. The commish got 99 points from his guys in the first week, and has Percy Harvin and Patrick Crayton on the bench to spice up the starting lineup. Mike’s QB is on the shelf for a while, and Jay Cutler looks like a project. It’ll be interesting to track Mike’s waiver picks over the next few weeks.
   
4. Rocky Brook – Tom started the year by leading the league in scoring week 1 – 68 points will get you a W about 85% of the time in this league. There are two questions surrounding this team. First, the bench looks thin – 18 of his 28 bench points came from Joe Flacco, whose ass will not rise from the Oiler pine unless something hideous happens to Drew Brees (31 points!). Second, Brees scored almot half the team’s points by himself. He’s awesome, but he won’t score 31 every week. Tom needs Stephen Jackson to score well, and Jackson has precious little help in St. Louis right now.
   
5. Northern Spies – They are 1-0, but what goes for Rocky Brook also applies here. The Spies got 27 from AP, who is just a stud. They have even worse bench issues than Tom. That said, I love the starting lineup here, especially if Leon Washington gets some playing time over Reggie Bush. This is a good team that will struggle with the bye weeks.
   
6. Midwest – The Marauders had a good showing week 1, but were undone by the Brees explosion against hapless Detroit. This club will look better in the next few weeks – Tennessee will not be running Chris Johnson against Pittsburgh again until the playoffs. In fact, Johnson faces only 2 really tough run defenses the rest of the way – the Jets in week 3 and the 49ers week 9. The key to this team is Andre Johnson. If he performs as expected, Midwest is going to be a handful.
   
7. Garvey’s Gangsters – After scoring 37 points in the first week, it would have been easy to place them last in this week’s rankings. But they got 51 points from their bench, and that bodes well for the team’s outlook going forward. Rich should be praying that Delhomme gets his mojo back in Carolina, because Steve Smith is a very important player on this club.
   
8. Georgia Satellites - John is like the Yankees – they start slow and get better as the playoff draw near. He scored 61 points total between his starters and his bench. We look for better days from the seven time champ.

Taking Home the Hardware

Welcome to the 2009 Nelson League Blog! I'm glad to be back with you after a long offseason!

The Northboro Steroids collected the Nelson Trophy on a sunny Sunday afternoon in beautiful New Jersey - the third championship for the franchise and the first since the Clinton administration. Then they dug in, and with the Brains of the Outfit linked up through Skype, they drafted the 2009 Northboro Steroids.

The resulting team was handed the Stephen Award for The Worst Draft in the Nelson for 2009. This was controversial. Let's take a look:

Phillip Rivers - 34 TDs in 2008. One of the top 5 QBs in the NFL according to every list I had access to. I had him fifth on my list behind Brady, Manning, Brees and Aaron Rogers.

Deangelo Williams - 20 TDs in the 2008. The #1 running back in our league in scoring.

Larry Fitzgerald - The #1 receiver on most preseason draft boards. He was clustered in the top group with Moss and Calvin Johnson.

Stephen Gostkowski - The #1 kicker on most draft boards. Brady is back, so more singletons this year, but two years ago he kicked 72 extra points. I can live with that.

Greg Jennings - The #1 receiver in pass-happy Green Bay. He had 1292 yards and 9 TDs last year. He was #4 on my board.

It's a little hard to improve on that part of the club. I contend that these were the best players available at the #5 slot.

The part of the team Stephen didn't like was this group:

Jonathan Stewart, Darren McFadden, Cedrick Benson - These guys will spend the most time in my RB2 and RB3 slots this year. Stewart had 10 TDs last year, and only a preseason achilles injury and the stout Philly run defense is keeping him on the bench in week 1. McFadden has been handed the starting job in Oakland after a terrific preseason. Benson resurrected himself in Cincinatti at the end of the year. He's a pounder, and he's the only option in the Bengal running game. I'm hoping for Red Zone love there.

Chad OchoCinqo, Josh Morgan - These guys are the #3 wide receiver in some combination. Everyone in San Francisco, who was badly burned by the Michael Crabtree disaster in the draft, is pointing to Morgan as a key to the San Francisco offense. He's never done it, but he has the tools to be an elite receiver. Ocho is the big question mark, and that pick was based on the preseason football I watched this year. I saw a guy whose pride was hurt by his poor performance last year. I saw a guy who is on a mission. And, more importantly, he has his Quarterback back after a year on the shelf. I'm hoping for big things there.

Is this the worst team in the league? In the Nelson, where competition is so fierce that strange bounces and weird happenings decide championships, it could very well be. But DeAngelo Williams just ran 11 yards for an early score against the Eagles. Let's play some football and see how this works out.