2010 - A few Thoughts

A few days removed from the gut-wrenching finale to the Nelson Bowl, here's a few tidbits I thought of while basking in the glow:

• The playoffs were two of the closest games I played in the last four years. The fact that we won both of them against two terrific teams by a total of 3 points is just amazing.
  
• Having Maurice Jones Drew go out with a knee just before a scrumptious matchup against hideous Washington was the break of a lifetime.
  
• How close was that Super Bowl? If the 10 yard TD run by Vick with 10 minutes left was a 10 yard TD pass instead, we would all be congratulating Mr. Garvey on a fine Super Bowl victory. (The 10 yard run kicked Mikey V over the 60 yard mark, so that was a 7-point play.)
  
• I played 12 of my 18 players in the playoffs. Six of those guys (Vick, Hillis, Lloyd, Jackson, Rackers, Kaeding) were picked up on waivers during the season.
  
• The move I didn’t make – inserting Mike Williams against Seattle in place of Reggie Wayne, who was matched up against Nnamdi, almost cost me the title. It was the last move Bri and I discussed before we set our lineup. We decided to go with the veteran and try and steal a TD from Peyton – nice thought, but it didn’t work.
  
• The MVP of the 2010 Nelson League playoffs is Sebastian Janikowski, who almost killed me and Mike in consecutive weeks. Playing Rackers at altitude in Denver took the edge off – that was the best decision I made in week 16.
  
• Having Vick’s game slide out to a snow-free Tuesday was another lucky break.
  
• Next year will not be like this year. We finished the season 13-3, led the League in points, and won our fourth Nelson Bowl title. I may play in this league another 20 years before I have another season like this.
  

Hope everyone has a great New Year's, and we'll see you all next year.

Commish Speaks - Week 15

Hello all and an early Christmas wish of good happiness and health for all my league mates and families. Well guys, I have been watching football for over 30 years and doing this fantasy stuff for 18 plus, and when I look back at last week's column, about the only thing I got right was my pending loss to the Gangsters. Every other observation or comment was totally off..if I were writing a column for a paper or website, I'd have been fired and kicked to the curb sharing a spot on the corner with the Salvation Army dude.

Speaking of the Salvation Army, last week Morgan and I went shopping at our local Walmart and of course at the outside front of the store is the guy ringing the bell and having the money pot etc. Well, this Salvation Army guy was a bit different. He had the bell in one hand and a cigarette in the other. My observant daughter asked, "Dad, should he be smoking?" I gave her the wise life lesson and no, no he shouldn't, smoking is bad for your health. I just found it funny seeing Salvation Santa with a Camel dangling from his lips.

The Steroid/Satelite contest defied logic..I actually hung in there thru the one o'clock games, trailing by just 5, but Janikowski put me out of my misery with 15 points to give Rich the cushion he needed for an easy Monday night watch. Sunday night in Georgia and Massachusetts was a much different story.

It was the night before playoffs and all thru the house....wait that's another tall tale.

Let's recap Week 15.

NORTHBORO STEROIDS 60
GEORGIA SATELLITES 59

How can you figure...Bob up 50 with all 3 RB's left to play...John with some tough matchups on paper. Even our much maligned handicapper had the 'Roids scoring over 100 after the Thursday explosion. I knew this game was getting closer as the 1's left Bob with just 9 points from the RB's and - unbelievably - Reggie Wayne doing nothing while the Colts are scoring 34 on the Jags.

I was keeping track of 3 games, mine here, mine down in South Jersey, and Jordan/Nelson. Yes, I was in fantasy heaven. Especially when my 3 Cowboys, Kitna, F. Jones and their defense was scoring points left and right for my team down south. I actually had my best week of the year down there..good timing. I knew John was getting help with Brees having to throw, which he did, but Ray Rice popping in 23 versus the Saints - a total shock. I'm sure Bob was wondering where the hell was Willis Magahee? Going into Sunday night, the lead was just 8. John had Jennings left..could Flynn get him the ball? Late first half he did, and found him for a 1 yard score. After 3 quarters, the lead was now 1. Jennings now had 26 yards and the score for 7 points. Bob had the tiebreak, as both guys lamented the bench points left on the cutting room floor. Jennings needed 34 more yards to get to three points and 61. Flynn faltered with the clock late and the Pats and Bob held on. This game had me on pins and needles and I was just a spectator, something I had in common with Duane Bowe and Pierre Thomas..more on that later. This game reminds or teaches, depending on your experience level or degree of stubborness..there are very few givens in fantasy football.

GARVEY'S GANGSTERS 50
DANGEROUS MINDS 34

I still am amazed that I played Week 15 with no Quarterback. Every time I checked the score and saw that 0 next to top spot on the score sheet I got pissed. The real injustice is that down in my other league, where I am a slight underdog in the Super Bowl there, my opponent's QB is a healthy Aaron Rogers. It's going to be tough watching him surgically carve up the Giant D while ringing in points for my opposition. Factors that hurt me here..my kicker who I raved about last week missed 4 FG's...all from over 40 yards...a killer. Then, the bane of my existence, the running back position. Donald Brown who has done NOTHING since week 2, has a career game..and with Ivory out, I thought I'd get more out of Thomas..nope, and of course Michael Bush vultures 2 scores and 13 points while on my bench. Even with out the QB, this was winnable with help. For the Gangsters who truly have had a great season, Peyton was steady but not great with 12, But Janikowski was the big gun, as MJD was held to 3 and neither Bradshaw or Mccoy did much either.

---

2010 NELSON BOWL
GARVEY #2 VS NORTHBORO #1

The early line is Bob by 21. I think it's going to be closer, which is probably the kiss of death for Rich. Already Team Jordan has Vick, McFadden and Lloyd in the lineup. All three on paper have very good matchups. A key for Rich is going to be Drew. He needs to have a monster game home versus the Skins and that could happen. I will be very surprised if MJD is under 10 points that Garvey has a chance. McCoy also needs big and he too has a favorable draw home to Minnesota.

I like points in this one, and while I'd love to see Garvey join McCaffrey as a first time winner, the head says Jordan has more depth, especially if Foster is healthy.

FINAL NORTHBORO 82 GANGSTERS 70

AGAIN - MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL LEAGUE MATES AND FAMILY

MIKE, LINDA, AND THE GIRLS

Commish Speaks - Week 14

HELLO ALL, first some news and notes from around the league: The playoffs are set and here are the matchups:

GEORGIA SATELITES ( 4 ) AT NORTHBORO STEROIDS ( 1 )
DANGEROUS ( NOT SO LAST WEEK OR PROBABLY THIS WEEK ) MINDS 3 AT GARVEY'S GANGSTERS ( 2 ).

I get the 3rd spot and the short trip across the river to play Garv as I win the point tiebreak versus John. With travel being an issue these days for teams, the Satelites stayed in Massachusetts for their road rematch versus the top seeded Steroids.

As part of our prize money here are some early returns for our banker Rich D.

First place and total points for the season, no surprise NORTHBORO 80 bucks each for those awards..and so the Jordanian windfall begins.

TOP SCORER BY POSITION; QB Rogers, Dangerous Minds: 245 for the concussed one with Brady and Vick close behind..both with 242. $ 20 bucks for Mike

RB Foster Northboro 258 points is our overall winner..not bad for a fourth round pick. A.P. was a far distant 213. A down year for our running backs..unless you played for Bob.

WR Bowe...Dangerous Minds..despite being a spectator the last two weeks he garnered 168 pts..B. Lloyd at 166 and my Calvin Johnson hit for 162..my payday will probably come to an end this weekend, so I'll gladly take the 20.

K a runaway for Akers, Camels...Tony gets lunch money here for a week...oh wait..he spends his lunch at Clark's Tavern every day so, maybe lunch money for a day. Since becoming Athletic Director several years ago, Tony has become a much better golfer and drinker.

On to our recap:

I'm sure my paltry 15 point effort sent huge laugh waves throughout the country, with more than likely the biggest guffaw coming from the south. Here's how I broke down the debacle:

PHITIN CAMELS (6-8) 71
DANGEROUS MINDS (8-6) 15

For Tony, I'm sure this is how he envisioned Shaub to play..21 points and 3 scores. D-Jax, with the d standing for dick was tremendous, and Akers has found the fountain of youth. Here's my breakdown:

ROGERS 1 - Going to Detroit. I'm thinking at least 280 and 3 scores, BUT NO!! he gets concussed and spends the second half with a baseball cap on his bruised head.

FORTE 2 - His team gets pounded at home in the blizzard like conditions of the Windy City so the running game is all but abandoned. He catches a nice swing pass and busts his ass sliding in the snow to the one..and in comes Chester Taylor to vulture the TD...ouch...

IVORY 2 - This guy has been a beast for me the last 3 weeks and against the Rams home, I'm thinking how about 80 and a touch...he starts off hot with 47 yards on 7 carries..on his way to a hamstring pull..that wasn't the only thing pulled this weekend.

CHOICE 0 - Early first qtr he has 2 shots inside the five and I'm thinking what a smart waiver pick big guy..3 hours later the highlight reel shows us him getting an autograph from the former owner of Bad Newz Kennels...I honestly laughed for 10 minutes before I went up to bed...and did the gloves really go to the nephew?

CALVIN JOHNSON 2 - With 3rd string Drew Stanton running the show and Rod Woodson inside the Megatron jock, my stud WR catches one ball for 44 yards....watching the Lion/Pack GAME WAS A REAL TREAT

BOWE 0 - Brody Croyle proved once again he is best suited as a backup QB....in the f---ing UFL...1 catch for 3 yards...a great finish to a wonderful season.

NICKS 4 - Welcome back!! A silver lining arrives..9 targets, 7 catches for 98 yards...hoefully good weather Sunday in Jersey and an added bonus if Samuels is still out.

CUNDIFF 4 - All extra points..Carpenter was kicking in a monsoon up here. Carpy gets the call home to Buffalo week 15.

There you have it..a week for the ages!!

GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (10-4) 74
ROCKY BROOK OILERS 6-8 45

4 players in double figures as Garv wanted that home game. MJD is going for his 7th 100 yard game next week..against the 29 ranked Colt D, he should get it. Tom had great days from Brady and CJ2K ( finally ) but little else.

MIDWEST MARAUDERS (4-10) 47
NORTHERN SPIES (3-11) 28

And the Stephen Cup goes to....well the injury infested Spies who lost Grant, Romo, Matthews just to name a few. How many fantasy teams went down in flames with the poor production from Larry Fitzgerald,...( no fault of his own ). for Hugh, Andre Johnson gave as gutty a performance as I've ever seen Monday night.

NORTHBORO STEROIDS (11-3) 63
GEORGIA SATELLITES (8-6) 56

This game and playoff positioning went down to the wire with the crazy Monday night finish with Houston and the Ravens. Ray Rice and Arian Foster head to head. The killer for John was the Magahee ( he owed me one ) vulture in the first qtr. Mendenhall disappoints with just 3 against Cincy at home.

---

I'LL DO A BIT DEEPER DIGGING FOR THE PLAYOFFS PROBABLY ON SATURDAY. ONE INITIAL QUESTION??? WHO DO THE STEROIDS START AT QB? RIVERS OR VICK..GREAT PROBLEM TO HAVE...

COMMISH

Commish Speaks - Week 13

Hello league mates...very under the weather this week with a nasty cold, perhaps it was a 5 day celebration of redemption after winning Rice Bowl II. Just a reminder that rosters are frozen after this week, so for the playoff contenders this week..namely tonight is your last shot at a move before week 15. As the old time Met announcer Bob Murphy used to say, " lets get to the happy recap" after a rare Met win.

Normally I cover my game last after a win, but NOT THIS WEEK.

DANGEROUS MINDS (8-5) 61
GEORGIA SATELITES (8-5) 48

John was so cocky after kicking my ass Week 6 that he played our game with just 7 guys...actually the webmaster caught a tough break with Percey Harvin being a game time migrain scratch. Fore the Commish, finally my patience or stupidity, you pick is rewarded as an unlikely Saint RB Chris Ivory scored his 5th TD in the last 3 games. 61 points with 2 zeros is not bad. One of those zeros is Donald " Bad news " Brown who will languish on my bench forever. I knew John had some tough matchups this week as both top RB's went head to head in the Steeler/Raven bloodbath.

Anyway, the real story here is for the time being, the Commish vaults into 3rd place, thus avoiding temporarily the Jordan juggernaut.

ROCKY BROOK OILERS (6-7) 48
NORTHERN SPIES 3-10 29

This game was actually tied going into Monday night, but a red hot Brady was the difference as Sanchez realized he wasn't facing the Browns or Bengals on the big Mondayu night stage. This game was probably bittersweet for Team DesLauriers as i'm sure they enjoyed the shallacking of the Ryan Jets, but at the fantasy expense. LeGarret Blount continues to impress..very good waiver pick by the cagey Crossen.

NORTHBORO STEROIDS (10--3) 84
PHITN' CAMELS (5-8) 65

Tony gets huge day from AP..on a bad ankle no less, but remember it's the Bills. The big enigma Shaub hit for 14, and again 65 is not a bad total, unless your playing Bob. Vick, like him or not hit for 22, Foster, had 17, and Reggie Wayne who's had oodles of yards but not many TD's had a huge day against the overmatched Cowboy secondary.

GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (9-4) 77
MIDWESTERN MARAUDERS (3-10) 5-8

The big news here is that with the win, the Gangster clinch no worse than 3rd place, meaning no first round trip to Massachusets. Fortunately for the Mob Boss, we don't subtact for int's because the golden boy has thrown more than his share this year, yet he still had a lusty 15 points. Garv's NFC combo platter of Brdshaw and McCoy had 34 a piece to chip in. For Hughie, Ced Benson had a surprisingly strong day, ( 14 ) against the Saints, but for some reason, the defending champs, just could'nt get it together this year.

---

GEORGIA VERSUS NORTHBORO

John is actually off to a good start here as Bob only got 9 from Wayne and Baronis combined. The SATS, unlike last week, have some very friendly matchups starting with the Steelers home to reeling Cincy and Ray Rice won't be facing James Harrison, but whoever the defensively challenged Texans trot out there this week. Look for lot's of points here as both could hit into the 80's, which is an off week for the "Roids.

The Maruaders-Spies matchups will be seen in local markets only, meaning about 7 % of the country will be viewing.

The only real playoff drama here is who finishes 3rd and 4th. If the Commish wins, he gets at least 3rd, but could move to second and a home game if Garv loses to Oilers. Mike owns the tiebreak with both John and Garv due to points as they split during the regular season. Garv swept John, if the happen to go head to head. John will be rooting for those Phitn's from South Jersey as his only hope for a trip to Levittown and not Mass. is for the Commish to lose. I think the " book " has my game correct..Tony has some good matchups and our game should be very tight. John of course needs to win for my game to have any meaning.

Hope all of you and families are well this holiday season.

Commish

Jordan's 2010 Power Rankings - Week 14

Quick Hitters for week 14.

• The most important event that happened this week was Mike picking up Tashard Choice on waivers. Choice is matched up against Washington and Arizona in the playoff matchups. Mike has completely rebuilt his running game through waivers in the last month. Chris Ivory has been an absolute stud in New Orleans.
  
• John has his running backs matched up against Cincinnati, Houston and Arizona – it would be difficult to hand-pick three softer defenses. Thanks to some excellent coverage on Reggie Wayne by Blair White, I was held to 9 points between two guys on Thursday. Tennessee is awful, and I’ve played Rod Bironas for the last time this year.
  
• Rich Garvey’s chances ride on two games in week 15 – The Eagles at the Giants, and Indianapolis at Jacksonville. Five of Rich’s starters could be playing in those two games.
  
• It will be interesting to see what effect the Matt Cassel appendicitis attack has on Duane Bowe. Brody Coyle is not the QB that Cassell is, and KC is likely to go run heavy until Matt gets back. Bowe might be the best receiver in football this year – he’s been a monster.
  
• Lost in Peyton Manning’s horrific streak of late is the fact that he’s still racking up spectacular fantasy numbers. He’s scored 23, 13, 15 and 14 the last four weeks. Manning has matchups against Jacksonville and Oakland in the playoffs.
  
• Northboro has a serious decision to make on which quarterback to play in the playoffs. Michael Vick is matched up against the Giants in New York and Minnesota at home in chilly Philly. Phillip Rivers will be playing San Francisco at home, but travels to Cincinnati on Super Bowl week.
  
• Tom is playing for pride, but he ran into some tough luck with the weather in Chicago today. They’re looking at snow, wind, and general winter hideousness. Brady is 9-0 in these conditions, but this is a new Patriots offense – we’ll see how they respond. I’ll be sitting in Richard Deslauriers’ basement for this game.
  
• Rich Deslauriers and Hugh McCaffery are playing to avoid last place this year. These two beleaguered outfits enter this week with matching 3-10 records, and have had exactly zero luck between them this year. At half time of the 1:00 games, the defending champion has taken a commanding 3-1 lead. We’ll see if Rich can rally.
  

With the regular season coming to a close, I would like to thank everyone for reading and chipping in with pithy feedback on the column. It’s been a great year for the Steroids, and we wish everyone good luck in the playoffs.

Jordan's 2010 Power Rankings - Week 13

When we consider the bullet list of reasons that teams win in the Nelson League, folks are quick to tick off savvy drafting, phenomenal luck, good matchups, and other data points. Waiver pickups are not usually at the top of the list, but analysis tells us that they should be.

Last year, Tony picked up Miles Austin and Sidney Rice on waivers, catching a sweet little wave and riding it all the way to the Super Bowl. Matching up against Hugh’s powerhouse in the Big Dance, he trotted out Justin Forsett as his #3 running back – another late addition.

In 2008, Northboro was sucking wind in the middle of the year. Stephen Jackson was hurt, and the Steroids were pushing out non-entities like Kevin Faulk and Warrick Dunn to try and steal a touchdown. The situation was bleak, as we rode a 4-game losing streak into week 12. In week 12, we were matched up against Rocky Brook, and our season rested on the fortunes of a patchwork lineup that included waiver warriors Peyton Hillis, Larry Johnson, and Lance Moore. Those three guys went off for 32 points, and we were 6-6. Of course, we lost to Tony in week 13, because that’s how we roll, but we were able to squeak by John in week 14, secure a playoff spot and set ourselves up for a title run, reinforced by Stephen Jackson’s return to health.

Waivers are one of the few things a manager actually controls during a fantasy football season, and guys that work the waiver wire successfully usually reap solid returns on their investments.

This week’s rankings…

1. Northboro - Northboro hit the jackpot on waivers this year by grabbing Peyton Hillis, Brandon Lloyd and Michael Vick. All of them are playing against the Bete Noir this week – Tony is in town. The Steroids would really like to avoid getting our collective butts handed to us as we did in week 6. Thursday was a nice start – we got 46 from Michael Vick, Neal Rackers, and the amazing Arian Foster.
   
   
2. Dangerous Minds - Mike is hammering away, trying to get his club ready for the playoffs. He added Brian Westbrook off the scrapheap this week – a logical reaction to Frank Gore’s injury. Westbrook was terrific last week, but the San Francisco coaching staff is a little nervous about overloading the fragile 31 year old. They probably shouldn’t be – Westbrook has been playing hurt for years.
   
   
3. Georgia Satellites – Rice Bowl II is on tap this week, and based on matchups John should be preparing himself for a thorough ass-kicking from the Commish. Check out this nightmare – Rashard Mendenhall at Baltimore, Ray Rice against Pittsburgh, Percy Harvin and Austin Colle both questionable. Meanwhile, the Minds have Chris Ivory against hapless Cincinnati, Matt Forte at Detroit, and Duane Bowe against Denver (although Champ Bailey won’t be giving him a 25 yard cushion this week.) If Mike wins, John seeds 4th, having lost to Garvey twice. Welcome to Northboro, Big Fella!
   
   
4. Garvey’s Gangsters – With a 1-game lead over Mike in the standings, and holding the tie-break against John, Garvey just needs a couple of wins to secure second place. The Gangsters got 18 from Leshon McCoy on Thursday, and are matched up against the Hugh’s Midwest Marauders this week. If John loses to Mike this week, Mr. Garvey can prepare himself for a game with Dangerous Minds week 15. If John wins, Garvey needs a victory to secure a playoff seeding against the Satellites.
   
   
5. Rocky Brook – Of the four teams vying to avoid finishing in the Nelson League cellar (which, by the way, is fully furnished and has a wide screen with Satellite), this is the one club that has a chance to finish .500. Tom has a favorable matchup with the Northern Spies this week, and a game against Rich Garvey to finish the year. At one point this year, Tom was 2-5, so he’s recovered nicely.
   
   
6. Tony’s Phight-in Camels – Tony typically rolls against Northboro, and he got a very nice 28 points from the three guys he threw out there on Thanksgiving. I played Tony Turkey Day week a year ago, and got a dagger in the chest when Tony beat me 62-61. This year, the savvy hump master will have to find a way to make up an 18 point deficit in a 5 on 5 game. Adrian Petersen went from needing an MRI to practicing in full on Saturday, which is why we draft him so early every year – he’s not only as good as they get, but he’s a warrior, too. Mike Tolbert has been a very effective waiver pickup for Tony this season. He’s scored 9 TDs so far.
   
   
7. Midwest Marauders - Hugh has terrific matchups, and got 7 from Andre Johnson on Thursday, but he heads into Sunday spotting Mr. Garvey 11 points. Jamal Charles against Denver and a surging Jay Cutler against pathetic Detroit are particularly scrumptious.
   
   
8. Northern Spies – Rich will be experiencing that special kind of cognitive dissonance that only comes from playing fantasy football. On Monday night, all of New England will quit whatever they are doing and head to the TV to watch a titanic collision between the Jets and the Pats. Rich, a devout Pats Fan, has the Jets’ Mark Sanchez, and his opponent Rocky Brook has Tom Brady. For the Deslauriers, it’s been that kind of year.
   
   

Commish Speaks - Week 12

Heading down the home stretch our league falls into two catagories, either you're playing for playoff positioning..( in code for trying not to finish fourth and meeting up with the Steroids, ) or you're playing to avoid being the recipient of the " real " Stephen's Cup. By the way our young GM has a birthday this week..your first as a teenager...HAPPY 13TH FROM THE COMMISH!! Here's our recap as we head down the home stretch.


GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (8-4) 57
GEORGIA SATELITES (8-4) 52

Playoff ticket production can continue this week after the G-Men broke their three game losing skid to none other than the former roomate Georgia. Fortuntely for the Mob Boss Peyton doeesn't lose points for INT's as he has thrown a bunch lately. No one really stood out here but the Gangsters get a very important win. John gets a great day for Mendenhall and OK with Brees but little else..I'm sure he was resting starters for this week.

PHITIN CAMELS (5-7) 52
NORTHERN SPIES (3-9) 44

This one came down to Monday night where the Spies were looking for some Fitzy love in the Desert..but alas like most the year, no one could get him the ball. I'm not surprised Derek Anderson went nuts after the game..he was well rested cause he did shit during it. I don't know if I've ever seen a more pathetic effort from a team on national TV at home. For the Camels, they continue their climb to 500 with a solid win. David Akers who is almost as old as Tony is kicking beter than ever, and Mike Tolbert is a solid pickup. This game would'nt have been as close if Steve
" Why so Serious " Johnson doesn't drop a sure TD in overtime.

NORTHBORO STEROIDS (9-3) 68
ROCKY BROOK OILERS (5-7) 36

In a game Tom desperately needed to have, he comes up flat...sort of the like the excited kid before his after prom poonfest...he starts out strong with Brady's 22, blows his load, then goes limp...14 measly points from the rest of the 7 players...Rich D....hopefully you shared my good birthday wishes to Stephen and then sent him away from the computer as you will have a " hard " time explaining my analogy. 27 from Peyton Hillis..great pickup. Bob wins this with 2 zeros..including the kicker..( welcome to my world..Dan Carpenter pass the cheeze whiz please )

DANGEROUS MINDS (7-5) 88
MIDWEST MARAUDERS (3-9) 69

Here I am enjoying a non stress Monday night game wondering if Gore is going to get me to 100 points..( greed is the root of all evil ) and in the first 4 carries he gains 50 yards and is running thru the Card defense faster than I run thru a buffet line..then he injuries his hip and I'm thinking well it's precautionary, they have the lead and are saving him for Green Bay. The next day I'm meeting with one of my seniors, a kid who plays fantasy football, ( you bet he got a great recommendation from me ) and he is moaning that his star RB got hurt..now I'm thinking it's AP..he then drops the bomb and says, yea Mr. D, Frank Gore is out for the year!! My thin RB core took a major hit. For Hugh, 69 is a good number in a lot of ways, but Roddy and Big Ben didn't pull their weight or this would have been a great game, and a hellava lot closer.

---

GAME OF THE WEEK

DANGEROUS MINDS VS GEORGIA SATELITES fourth place has my name on it with a loss here and as the line this time correctly states, it's going to be close. Both of us have tough matchups in some cases, and who knows who I'm going to play at RB after Forte....maybe two Saints to hedge my bets. Lots of prime time viewing for John as he may have 3 guys in Ravens/Steelers Sunday night..( I'm hoping it's a 9-6 game !! )

Have a great week everybody and don't forget Eagles home to Texans tomorrow night.

MIKE

Live Blogging 11/28/2010

Seventeen minutes to the kickoff of the 1:00 PM games. Before we get started, let's take a quick look at the Thanksgiving Day results. We got some really terrific games going on...

Garvey 15, Georgia 13
Both teams have six guys left. Advantage Garvey, since he has his QB left.

Midwest 29 Dangerous Minds 23
Both teams have 6 guys left. Hugh got 15 from Garrett Hartley. Mike is nursing his injuries after last week's 3 point loss, and a 0 point debacle from Dan Carpenter at kicker. This one could into Tuesday morning - Frank Gore is up against Arizona tomorrow.

Rocky Brook 23 Northboro 0

Tom Has five guys left. He got 22 from Brady on Turkey Day, but Braylon Edwards and Dez Bryant somehow managed to score only 1 point between them.

Northern Spies 15 Phight-in Camels 0

Rich got reasonable performances from his Jets. Tony is looking for a big day from Adrian Petersen against Washington.

1:00 PM

We have Atlanta - Green Bay and Giants - Jags. My mind shattered when I realized that the Jaguars were in first place at 6-4, tied with Indy for the lead in the ridiculous AFC South.

1:16 PM

Aaron Rodgers is leading Green Bay in rushing so far today. Mendenhall just scored a touchdown, so John is now ahead.

1:25 PM

Garvey must be kicking himself. Rashad Jennings just ran one in from the five. For reasons extremely unclear to me. Peyton Hillis has two pass attempts in the first quarter. He's 0 for 2. So it doesn't look like I'm going to get much love on that one.

1:27 PM

Hillis just ran for nine yards and a touchdown. We're now down 23-8.

1:30 PM

Is it just me, or does this season have a higher kicker body count than usual? Josh Scobeedoobedoo just limped off the field after a beautiful open field tackle.

1:36 PM

Jones-Drew is running like a mack truck. As usual the egg-head announcers fail to understand that his small size is an asset.

1:42 PM

Foster to the 1 for 16 yards. Schaub to Dreissen, Touchdown. My head hurts.

1:44 PM

Hillis for 5 yards and another touchdown. I love my running backs.

1:46 PM

Randy Moss caught a ball. RANDY MOSS CAUGHT A BALL!! OH MY GOD!

1:48 PM

Peyton Hillis just tied one of Jim Brown's records. But we can't compare a 250 lb white guy to Jim Brown. It's not allowed.

1:54 PM

This is the kind of thing that will make Mike become a monk and swear off football forever. Aaron Rodgers just fumbled the ball on a quarterback sneak at the one yard line. Cleveland is back in the Red zone.

2:01 PM

Foster to the 2 for 9 yards! Andre Johnson, Touchdown! A one yard touchdown pass on first down and a two yard touchdown pass, also on first down.

2:07 PM

Hillis just scored another touchdown. Who needs three running backs?

2:09 PM

The good news for Tom, I have no points out of Bironas because Tennessee hasn't had the ball the whole first half. The good news for us. Tom has no points out of Chris Johnson because Tennesse hasn't had the ball the whole first half. The Rusty Smith effect. Even his name sounds like that of a bad quarterback.

2:14 PM

David Garrard is the perfect example of a really good NFL quarterback who is not a great fantasy player. He just doesn't make mistakes.

2:16 PM

That may have been the ugliest 5 yard rushing touchdown I've ever seen. Garrard took an hour to get to the end zone on that play. Mike is not happy.

2:24 PM

One of the things that makes Hillis and Foster so effective is the fact that they're good to have regardless of the game situation. Foster has 51 yards rushing and 62 yards receiving so far today, and Hillis has pretty soft hands for a 250 lb white guy. Turner is great when Atlanta is ahead or the game is close, but if Atlanta falls behind they bring in Jason Snelling.

2:35 PM

Mike Sims-Walker is having quite a day. Two drops in the endzone. And he just volley-balled one to the Giants.

2:45 PM

Aaron Rodgers just punched one in from the five. Mike should be feeling better.

2:51 PM

The Vikings get a 5 yard touchdown run from Tony Gerhart. How hurt is Peterson?

2:54 PM

Peterson is questionable to return. He may not be back today. Big break for Rich.

2:56 PM

Tony Gonzalez is 37 years old. He's still as good as any tight end in the NFL. GO GO GO... sorry Turner just broke one...

3:04 PM
Big touchdown for the former Steroids Fred Jackson. Rich is now leading 30-22.

3:07 PM

Turner POUNDS one into the end zone on 4th and goal at the 1. He now has 106 yards and a touchdown for another ten points.

3:11 PM

You know how great players elevate the players around them? It takes a special kind of quarterback to reduce Chris Johnson to a guy who gets 6 rushes for 2 yards in the first 3 quarters of the game.

3:12 PM

All kinds of good news for Garvey. A touchdown for Manningham a 2 point conversion for Ahmad Bradshaw. He's facing a 5 point deficit to John and if he keeps it close through the 1:00 games he's got a 3 man to 1 advantage with his quarterback (Peyton Manning and his kicker (Janikowski) to go.

3:21 PM

Rusty Smith just threw an interception at the 9 yard line. There should be a special wing of the Hall of Fame for him.

3:44 PM

We just saw Andre Johnson throwing haymakers at a Tennessee defender. That will be the end of his afternoon. We should give him an extra point for landing a good one.

3:48 PM

Rusty Smith: 13 completions on 24 attempts, 79 yards, 3.3 yards per attempt, 0 Touchdowns, 2 Ints 26.2 quarterback rating. If I was Jeff Fisher, I'd put myself in at quarterback.

3:59 PM

Rusty Smith INTERCEPTED in the end zone on 3rd and 7, completing his day of futility.

We are going to finish the afternoon with at least 48 points from our running backs. We have all three recievers and Philip Rivers to go. Feelin' good.

4:14 PM

Now we know the apocalypse is coming. The Bills just won the overtime coin toss. They NEVER get a break! Something sinister must be going on.

4:24 PM

2nd Down and 10 at the Steelers' 40 for the Bills. Let's see how they bollux this up.

4:33 PM

3rd and 4 at the Pittsburgh 36, Fitzpatrick SACKED for -3 yards. Punt...


4:33 PM

Steve Johnson drops a big one in the end zone in overtime for Buffalo. Pittsburgh escapes 19-16, ending the 1:00 games with us leading by 22.

5:23 PM
Mike is pouring it on Hugh 58-47. A win by Mike coupled with a loss by Tom this week will make the playoff roster complete.

5:32 PM
Duane Bowe scored another TD. Mike is now up 20.


6:02 PM

Dan Carpenter now has 13 points. He may be the best kicker in the history of fantasy football... when he's not posting a doughnut.


6:54 PM

There is nowhere for Vick to throw the ball right now. They need to give him some short slants. We probably started the right quarterback this week.


7:03 PM

Brandon Lloyd just caught a 41 yard touchdown pass. We now lead Rocky Brook 57-35... and all of his remaining players are going.

We still want to outscore Mike this week.

7:14 PM

I can not believe that Michael Vick just made that throw to Brent Celek. That was positively absurd. There were 4 black shirts in the way of that throw. Unreal. The quarterback we didn't start finishes with 333 yards passing, 2 touchdowns and 44 yards rushing.


7:39 PM

At the end of the 4:00 games, we lead 63 to 36 over Rocky Brook, and Rocky Brook is done.

Mike leads Hugh 79-60 and has Blair White playing tonight, and Frank Gore Monday Night. Regardless, Hugh's night ends tonight with Jacob Tamme. His chances don't look good.

The Spies lead 42-41 over Tony. Tony pins his hopes on Mike Tolbert, while Rich tries to hang on with Darren Sproles and Larry Fitzgerald.

John finishes with a 52-44 lead and a bench advantage over Garvey. The magic number is 9 for Peyton Manning and the Gangsters.

Commish Speaks - Week 11

Another busy week means another Friday update: hope everyone had a great day yesterday, and Rich D. hope you and family are doing OK. See you in the morning.

ROCKY BROOK OILERS (5-6) 67
DANGEROUS MINDS (6-5) 64

I couldn't dig out of the Thursday hole where my kicker gets a friggin zero...thanks Thigpen. Essentially one play turned this game around. The Cowboys had the ball on the Lion 1 yard line. Barber my spot starter is poised to smash through the middle, ( like the bum did yesterday while on my bench ) and Kitna faked and tossed it uip the lanky Antonio Bryant who corralled it for the 6 point swing. Tom's win was huge as he's nipping at my heels for the forth playoff spot right now. Unfortuntely for the Oilers the steamroller known as the Steroids await next week.

GEORGIA SATELITES (8-3) 89
NORTHERN SPIES (3-8) 73

John is getting tired of saying his team is getting lucky and winning ugly( sort of like Rex Ryan )..so he puts up a more than respectable 89 points against the luckless Spies who more than held their own with 73. Sanchez and Fred Jackson, not necessarily fantasy household names are making Rich very tough these days. If I'm going to nitpick with the Sats I can say that half his points came from 2 guys, Brees and Jennings...but John can come back and say, "well, I'm in the playoffs and kicked your ass Week 6." Sadly for me...all true.

NORTHBORO STEROIDS (8-3) 102
MIDWESTERN MARAUDERS (3-8) 56

In a game in which the QB's dominated play, 25 from Pig Ben..( I'd love to know what he said to Seymour )..and 20 from Rivers, Bob had more depth as 6 Stroids hit double figures and the other two guys had 9. To say Bob is white hot is a gross understatement. Rough day for Hugh's WR's..only 9 points. Green-Ellis has established as a solid choice at RB and should feast against the Lions..( which he did ).

PHITIN' CAMELS (4-7) 66
GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (7-4) 57

Tony keeps his playoff hopes alive with a quality win over the slumping Gangsters. Steve Johnson has been a tremendous aquisition and unfortunately looks like he's a member of the Dick Head Wide Receiver Club as by his showing off his new tee shirt line aftyer scoring one of his 3 TD's. 66 points is impressive especially with AP only offering just 3 in the Vikings debacle versus the Pack. For Garv, 4 guys scored 4 or less, and Bradshaw's fumbles may mean fewer carries.

---

GAME OF THE WEEK

GARVEY VS GEORGIA A win for John probably assures him of a home playoff game, while for the Gangsters a loss makes him 7-5 and looking over some shoulders. On a personal note: It's hard to believe I'm actually rooting for John this week....go Hines Ward!!!

Jordan Power Rankings – Week 11

It took a while for the hangover to wear off from all the partying after Monday Night’s improbable 20-point comeback win over the Northern Spies, and my Physical Therapist assures me that the tendonitis I developed from patting myself on the back all night will subside with anti-inflammatories, which I could also use to deflate my swollen ego.

Yep – having a guy go off for 38 in the clutch is a challenge to Christian humility. When I sat down to do some preparatory reading for this week’s matchup with defending champion Midwest, I was amused to read the Talented Mr. Roto’s column about nobs like me crowing about their come-from-behind victory on the arm and legs of Michael the Magnificent. The 38 points from Vick was a record-setting performance for our league under the current scoring system, and shattered the record for a QB by 6 points.

The backstory of last week’s action had more to do with Northboro’s playoff run. This week’s rankings…

1. Northboro Steroids - It seems like the Steroids are in a good position to start thinking about printing playoff tickets. If Northboro wins one of their next four games, they are in. Even if disaster occurs, they will be tough to knock out, because they are now leading the league in scoring and sporting a 7-3 record. This club is four deep at running back, has the two hottest quarterbacks in the league, and will be getting an infusion of new blood at wide receiver when Vincent Jackson shows up in week 12. Getting win number eight this week will be a challenge if Midwest goes crazy like they did last week, but the Steroids are preparing for week 15.
   
   
   
2. Dangerous Minds – With due respect to the Satellites and Gangsters, who are sitting pretty at 7-3 and preparing the menu for the pregame banquet on the 19th of December, this is the scariest team in the league. In their six wins this year, the Minds are averaging 84 points per game. They have elbowed their way into position for the playoffs despite struggling all year with their running game. Calvin Johnson, Aaron Rogers, Hakeem Nicks and Duane Bowe have been terrific. The question is, can they win in weather? A few years ago, Northboro had Randy Moss, Terrell Owens and Marques Colston terrifying everyone in the league all season, but they blew a tire when the weather got colder and clubs turned to the running game. This team has a similar look. We’ll see what the commish can piece together heading into the late part of the season.
   
   
   
3. Georgia Satellites - Northboro and Dangerous Minds have scored over 700 points apiece, and have separated themselves from the rest of the pack. The team that’s third in total points is this one right here. John has scored 590 through the first ten weeks, and he heads into his matchup with the Northern Spies very healthy – only Percy Harvin has an injury designation and he’s listed as probable. The Spies had no luck last week, and have really been slaughtered by injuries all season, starting with losing Ryan Grant way back in week 1. John has good timing here.
   
   
   
4. Garvey’s Gangsters – They’re solid, and they will make the playoffs, but Rich has some things to prove after losing to Northboro and Dangerous Minds in consecutive weeks by a combined score of 191 – 100. He’s playing Tony with a man advantage after the Hump-meister came up empty with Ronnie Brown on Thursday. Rich has switched Mannings for this game – and it is amazing to consider that Eli has outscored brother Peyton in our league so far this year.
   
   
5. Rocky Brook – This club has beaten Tony twice and Hugh twice, and lost to everyone else. They come into their matchup with Dangerous Minds fresh from their best performance of the year. LeGarrette Blount has scored 30 points in the last three weeks, and the wide receiver corps of Anquan Boldin, Dez Bryant and Mike Wallace has been terrific – they scored 37 in last week’s win. Tom has been a thorn in Mike’s hind quarters since entering the league a few years ago, and Thursday gave him a 13-0 cushion to take into Sunday.
   
   
6. Midwest Marauders – They are scary when they are rolling. Last week, Midwest just lit up John with 87 points, including 19 from Ben Rothlisberger and 18 from Roddy White, who could be the best receiver in football right now. Midwest will face Northboro with Andre Johnson visiting Reavis Island and Cedrick Benson listed as questionable.
   
   
7. Tony’s Phight-in Camels - Tony got a donut on Thursday from Ronnie Brown, as Miami could not get anything going with Tyler Thigpen behind center. Mike Tolbert against Denver and Adrian Petersen against Green Bay are good matchups, though. Tony needs a big effort from Matt Schaub this week.
   
   
8. Northern Spies – It’s never fun to be the victim of a miracle – you can ask the 2004 Yankees, the 2007 Patriots and the 2010 Northern Spies about that. Rich’s injuries continue to pile up, as Joseph Addai has been declared out this week against New England and Ryan Torrain has yet to get off the stationary bike from which he watched Michael Vick’s act last week. There are better days ahead for this club, but they may not come until next year.
   
   

Commish Speaks - Week 10

Hello all...before I review Week 10 which right now looks to be a lot brighter for the Commish then Week 11 is starting out to be, I'd like to get feedback on waivers and timelines. My league in South Jersey has a solid plan on this and I'd like to propose it here. They are allowing waivers up to the last game of the year and freezing rosters for the playoffs. So you can pick up a player Week 14 but not Week 15. Please let me know thoughts. On to the games:

Let's start with perhaps the game of the year...

NORTHBORO (7-3) 71
NORTHERN SPIES (3-7) 62

Monday at work I checked ( during lunch of course ) the scores from around our league and saw the Spies with a 53-33 lead with Torain and Macklin left. Bob had Vick in for the vacationing Phillip Rivers. As a Giant fan I watched the game hoping for a Redskin upset. Well as you know 18 seconds into the game the rout was on. I'm not sure if 38 points is a league record, but it was enought for the 'Roids to pull off the huge comeback. I'm sure Stephen's Twinkies that he had packed for lunch the night before didn't go down as tasty as he had thought they would. The Eagles were scary good that night. The question for Bob: do we have a QB controversy as Rivers returns to host the Broncos Monday night. The same Broncos who allowed Matt Castle 400 plus yards of garbage time TD's. Vick is home to the Giants who allowed Jon Kitna to throw for 300 yards on only 13 completions..in the dark no less, which is what the G-men secondary looked like they were in. What a problem to have?? For the Spies, obviously a gut wrenching loss as looking up at 3-7 is pretty daunting as far as a playoff run goes. Mark Sanchez has been great..solid play for a second week.

MIDWEST MARUADERS (3-7) 87
GEORGIA SATELITES (7-3) 41

Thursday night's game was a harbinger of things to come as the Satelites were sent reeling into space. 18 from Roddy White got the party started and the men of the Midwest weren't tardy to this party as five players hit for double figures. For John, a rought football weeklend as the Steelers were hashed at home by Brady and co. Hines Ward's concussion and Big Ben's gaarbage time TD's didn't help. Boy did they miss Drew Brees.


ROCKY BROOK OILERS (4-6) 83
PHITIN CAMELS (3-7) 47

Watch out for the Oilers!! After muddling thru a very mediocre start to the season Mr. Crossen has made some shrewd pickups, namely LeGarret Blount. Excellent spot play by Matty Ice ( 18 ) led the way here as Tom has two of the brightest receivers in the game in Wallace and Dez Bryant who looks like a beast. I'm sure he's in uniform right now waiting for the sad sack Likon secondary. A win this upcoming week, ( and it's looking promising ) versus the Commish and the Oilers are thinking playoff run. For the banged up Camels it was another case of running into teams on hot weeks. AP only had three and after the 88 yard bomb, Deshawn cashed it in. QB play has been disappointing too.

DANGEROUS MINDS (6-4) 83
GARVEY'S GANGSTERS ( 7-3) 45

The Commish avenges a very painful loss with a solid win started by Flacco, ( see ya at Chickie and Pete's Tay ) and of course the faithful WR core. No WR is hotter than Dwayne Bowe right now. In what was a common theme this week, Bowe hit a 20 yarder with 10 seconds left in a blowout..three of our games had garbage time implications. The Mindbenders RB's continue to struggle so look for changes there. For the Gangsters hard to believe Peyton NOT tossing a TD home to the Bungles...I noticed that Eli is in the lineup this week..he might have more overall points..I know he has more overall interceptions.

---

GAME OF THE WEEK

ROCKY BROOK VS DANGEROUS MINDS

I'm going to morph the game of the week with the biggest winners and losers from Monday night. Tom had a great night..Robbie ( good as Gould-when he plays Mike ) hit for 3 including a 50 plus for 13 while Dan Carpenter was shut out...I don't think I've ever had a kicker get goose egged. Watch Billy Cundiff hit for 15 points while I scratch my head and other body parts. To top off the glee for the Oilers, Matt Forte scores his first f--king TD since Columber Day weekend while on my bench. Rocky Brook has some great matchups including Brady who will throw at least 40 times versus the Colts. A win for Tom puts him just one game back for the forth playoff spot. The line on this started at Tom as slight favorite, but it has ballooned and rightly so to double digits. I'm not poor mouthing here, I could get hammered this week.

---

REMINDER: THANKSGIVING GIVES US THREE GAMES TO BE THANKFUL FOR: NEW ENGLAND AT DETROIT. ( HARD TO BE THANKFUL FOR THE LIONS) NEW ORLEANS AT DALLAS
( HOPEFULLY I'VE FINISHED DINNER BEFORE SEEING JERRY JONES' PLASTIC FACE) AND CINCY AT THE JETS..( REX RYAN IS HAPPY HE'S ABLE TO HAVE A HOMECOOKED MEAL--HE HASN'T MISSED MANY )

LET ME GIVE ALL OF YOU AN EARY HAPPY THANKSGIVING YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND THE FUN WE HAVE WITH THIS LEAGUE IS SOMETHING I DON'T TAKE FOR GRANTED. IF YOU'RE TRAVELING BE SAFE

MIKE

Jordan's 2010 Power Rankings - Week 10

This week, we take a brief respite from the Power Rankings to set the bar for performance (and non-performance) in the Nelson League. With three and a half years of competition under the same scoring structure to examine, we call the roll of record setters…

Most Points, 1 team, 1 game
110…Northboro Steroids…2007 Week 1… John was the unfortunate victim of this avalanche. This game also set three more single-game standards:

Biggest Blowout
68 points...110-42…..Northboro Steroids over Georgia Satellites

Most Points by a wide receiver, 1 game
32…Terrell Owens

Most Points, 3 Wide Receivers., 1 game
67…Northboro Steroids…Terrell Owens (32), Randy Moss (30), Marques Colston (5)

Fewest Points, 1 team, 1 game
19…Midwest Marauders…Week 4, 2007…Hugh learned a hard fact of life that the rest of us had discovered over time – don’t count on scoring a lot of points against the Desperate Housewives. In this one, Frank Gore was Midwest’s leading scorer – he scored five points.

Under the old scoring system, the bar is set at 4 points, which is known as the Garvey Gauge.

Fewest Points, 2 teams, 1 game
45…Desperate Housewives over Midwest Marauders, Week 4, 2007. The girls had three whiffs and still won the game.

Most Points by a Quarterback, 1 Game
32…Carson Palmer…Week 2, 2007

Palmer’s explosion was required – Northboro won 92-84 over Midwest that week – one of the highest scoring games in League history, but not THE highest…

Most Points, 2 teams, 1 game

193…Tony’s Phight-in Camels (101) vs Northboro (92)…Week 6, 2009

It’s been well documented that Tony owns my deed. Here’s Exhibit A, as Northboro got caught by Tom Brady’s ridiculous 380 yard, 6 TD performance against Tennessee.

Most Points by a Running Back, 1 Game
33…Ladanian Tomlinson (198 yards, 4 TDs)…Week 6, 2007
33…Darren McFadden (165 Yds rushing, 31 yda receiving, 4 TDs)…Week 4, 2010

Interesting side note on Tomlinson’s performance for Mr. Garvey…the Gangsters lost that week to the Northern Spies, 72 – 54.

Honorable Mention
Years ago, Northboro played Dangerous Minds nemesis James Stewart in a game where the rugged Lions back scored 5 TDs and ran for 100 yards, a 34 point effort under the old scoring system.

Most points by a kicker, 1 Game
19…Rod Bironas…Week 14, 2009
19…Dan Carpenter…Week 8, 2010

Both guys played for Dangerous Minds…Mike, unlike Bill Parcels, loves his kickers.

Most Points, 3 running backs, 1 Game
53…Midwest Marauders…Week 9, 2007…Jamal Lewis (28), Reggie Bush (17), Kevin Faulk (8)

In an astounding contest, Northboro and Midwest tied 89-89 after a weekend of amazing performances, with Northboro taking home the win on bench points. This was one of the closest games in the history of the league, but not quite THE closest…

Closest Game
Georgia Satellites vs. Dangerous Minds…Week 2, 2007, 62-62 (42-41 on bench points)
Mike had lost the previous week by 1 point to the Desperate Housewives. Good time to steer clear of the Big Guy, I should think.

Fewest Points, 3 runnings backs, 1 game
3…Northboro Steroids, Week 12, 2009

Fewest Points, 3 wide receivers, 1 Game
0…Dangerous Minds, Week 6, 2010

Most Points, 1 Game, Bench
90…Northboro Steroids…Week 12, 2008
Northboro won 91-51 against Rocky Brook. I am fairly sure that the 181 total points is also a league record.

Pine Bomb Awards
Most Points, 1 Player, Bench
29…Ronnie Brown…Week 3 2007
29…Kenny Britt…Week 7 2010

Special Efficiency Award
Garvey’s Gangsters…Week 4, 2007
Richard G scored a 60-59 win against the Georgia Satellites. Rich’s bench scored only 7 points that week.

Commish Speaks - Week 9

Hello all...due to travel, work and family commitments the update is very late this week. Setting the stage for Week Ten is a bet Taylor and I made at halftime of our draft when I was looking at the schedule to find a QB to fill in for Rogers. My daughter, ( Happy Birthday dear ) suggested I pick up Vince Young, but I didn't like the matchup versus the ball control Dolphins. I selected Joe Flacco instead. She hated the pick. I thought the Falcon secondary is suspect and the Ravens would be behind. Well, after the first half, in which the Falcons controlled the ball for 22 minutes, and Delaware Joe had just 31 total yards passing and not even sniffed the opponents 50..I was serious pissed. So I was partially right..the Ravens were behind. I just kept thinking, I should have played Kyle Orton...the second half went much better..Flacco threw for 3 scores and had 16 points...a nice recovery. So if Young scores under 16, I'm enjoying Stella's and crab fries on my designated driver daughter. On to Week Nine, where it was another example of 'Roid rage, and a well designed upset from a very happy father and son duo in Franklin, Mass.

NORTHBORO (6-3) 108
GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (7-2) 45

I'm watching the games down in Georgia ( after thoroughly enjoying my nephew's lead performance in Godspell the night before- great job Jesus ).... when John and I saw Turner and Foster run for two first quarter scores....Bob had 30 points by 1:30 as Rivers joined the party....it reminded me of an old country song..." Sometimes your the windshield, sometimes your the bug"..Gangsters had bye issues but he could have used all 18 players and it wouldn't have mattered. Only in our league would the first place guy possibly lose by 62 points.

NORTHERN SPIES (3-6) 57
DANGEROUS MINDS (5-4) 52

Great play by Team DesLauriers using Mark Sanchez as I'm sure the boys saw the matchup versus improved by still susceptible Detroit. It was actually a Sanchez sneak in the 4th quarter that would actually be the winning margin. Brandon Jackson ran like another RB who wore # 32 and scored lots of TD's.... remember the guy in the white Bronco??

For the Commish I knew trouble was afoot when Gates hurt his...also no Gore didn't help. But Megatron got drowned in Reavis Island, and both Donald Brown and Forte lost short TD's to back ups..I've said it before, if the Saints don't get their RB situation squared, I'm a very average club.

GEORGIA SATELLITES (7-2) 61
ROCKY BROOK OILERS (3-6) 37

The only bright spot here was if you but the Oilers and got the 25 points you were a winner. No CJ2K which led to just a paltry 5 points from the RB's was the death knell here for Tom. It must be clean living for John because the Satellites do just enough to win( except for the Week Six ass kicking of the Commish ). Drew Brees was solid with 13, and the Steeler duo of Ward and Mendenhall also chipped in.

PHTIN CAMELS (3-6) 72
MIDWEST MARAUDERS (2-7) 33

Another head scratcher for the Champs as they just can't get the consistency going. Andre Johnson's ankle is a pain in the ass for the boys from Chi'town. I told John Sunday morning, watch out for AP this week..he's going to be huge, and he was with 19 nuggets. Also a heathy Deshawn Jackson and an accurate David Akers chipped in big as well.

---

THURDAY NIGHT EARLY RETURNS

With a real hit or miss schedule..( How many families will be trimming the tree in December to the Cowboys at Cardinals?)..the NFL Network slammed one out of the park in their week one with the Ravens at Atlanta, where the Falcons never lose these days. Some folks did pretty pretty well last night, while others know the climb may be tougher after who did or didn't come thru.

BIG WINNERS Rocky Brook....I'm sure if he was watching from the comfortable Owners suite with a Yingling in his hand. Tom was chubbin to see Matty Ice hit for three scores and Boldin pop one in too. If he was watching from his office, hopefully the beer and the chub were well hidden by a cooler and a newspaper. Midwest - 18 from Rowdy Roddy White including the game winner late gives Hugh the jump on the Satellites. Dangerous Minds - 16 from Flacco, all in the second half. In a week where Garv will be starting 6 Giants..and MJD and Peyton home, I'm overall pretty happy with the output.

LOSERS Not a good night for the hometown Satellites.. just four from Ray Rice, and Tony Gonzalez ( 1 ) was busy watching Roddy White run amok. 2 starters+ 5 points+ no Brees could = a loss. Not a bad math equation from a guy who was thrilled to pass Baby Math I in college. Not much depth in the CAMEL backfield this week as Magahee realized he wasn't playing me had a zero. Not everyone in Atlanta enjoyed the Air Coryell imitation last night..who might they be..Michael Turner owners of course..the Burner burned his owners with just one point. But shed no tear for Team Jordan...with Macfadden on the bye Bob trots out the great white hope in Peyton Hillis but not a great matchup versus the Jets. The Spies are taking this anti Lion thing to a new level..with byes and injuries Rich is starting not one, but 2 Bills RB versus Detroit.

---

GAME OF THE WEEK

More prime time love for the Gangsters as they head to Jersey and take on the Dangerous Minds. The Mob Boss won the last game by one point in a game that still haunts me. A Commish loss opens the door for a 3-6 team to get back in the race. Gangsters have some good matchups so look for high scoring..for me to stay close, the RB's have got to help out.

---

ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND EVERYBODY AND JOHN SEND GOOD LUCK WISHES TO PETE IN STATES

THE COMMISH AKA UNCLE MIKE

Jordan’s Power Rankings – week 9

The thrill of victory

Every Nelson League owner has to steel himself for the emotional vacillations of the fantasy football season. This year, we’ve had teams chubbin’ all season (Garvey’s Gangsters), teams that have been booming and busting all year (Dangerous Minds and Northboro), and teams that have experienced the emotional turmoil of an off season (Northern Spies.)

In the long run, we all have moments to remember and moments we most definitely want to forget. This week, as we glance at the current state of the league, we glance backwards to the recent past for those moments when fortune shined upon us.

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – They’re now 6-1, after registering yet another come-from-behind Monday night victory. In their six wins, the average margin of victory is 8 points per game – a razor – thin margin for a team so successful. They have won only one game by more than 10 points.
   
   One more note from the “Everything’s BS except wins and losses” file: In the eight weeks played so far in 2010, they have outscored Northboro exactly once – and that was week 2 when they played head-to-head.
   
   Looking back over the last few years, two games stand out as high points for the Mob squad. The first was 2009 week 11 – a 72 -45 thrashing of the Nelson Bowl bound Phitin Camels that broke a 3 games losing streak and propelled Rich to a playoff appearance. The second was this year in week 5 with their 1 point win over undefeated Georgia. The Gangsters have been in first place ever since.
   
   
2. Dangerous Minds – This team is playoff bound, and someone is going to have to score a boatload of points to stop them from winning the Nelson Bowl this year. So far, Mike has three losses, and his opponents have scored 220 points or 73 ppg. In Mike’s five wins, he has averaged 423 points, or a whopping 85 points per contest. On Mike’s club, even the kicker is an impact player.
   
   Mike has had a few high points in the last few years. One critical win came last year in Week 12, when the Minds, regrouping after a tough loss to Rocky Brook, squeezed out a 57-55 win over eventual Nelson Bowl champion Midwest. This was especially important after John found a way to beat Mike in 2009 Rice Bowl II by one point in week 13. Beating Midwest allowed the Minds the breathing room to secure a playoff spot by spanking Garvey’s Gangsters in week 14.
   
   
3. Georgia Satellites – John got to 6-2 by beating Tony on bench points last week. His minions are piling up the ugly wins and are almost a lock to make the playoffs. Drew Brees is now #2 in scoring among quarterbacks – a fact that seems surprising given how much New Orleans has struggled this season. This week, The Space-meister has all three of his A-list running backs available, although he heads into Sunday’s contest with his two top scoring receivers – Austin Colle and Percy Harvin – nursing injuries.
   
   John’s best moment in the last few years came when he won the 2007 Nelson Bowl championship. It should be pointed out that John’s club was not playing well heading into the playoffs that year. He lost 3 of 4 games on his way to the dance, and he was outscored in the three losses 267 – 119. The week 14 loss was by 55 points to the Northern Spies – the exact same team that he beat in round 1 of the playoffs on his way to his seventh Nelson Bowl title.
   
   
4. Northboro – Last week, The Phoenix had no answer for Dan Carpenter (19 points). Carpenter outscored the usually terrific Rod Bironas by 14 points, which accounted for the entire margin of victory for the Minds. Northboro will try again against the Gangsters with a full contingent of running backs, and Phillip Rivers ready to roll against Houston.
   
   The high point of the last three years for the Phoenix was the 2008 Nelson Bowl championship, where the Flaming Birds rolled 81 – 46 behind quarterback Jay Cutler, who scored 20 points without throwing a touchdown pass.
   
   
5. Rocky Brook – They got to three wins by stopping a radioactive Midwest club dead in their tracks, 45-37. Tom’s brilliant spot play of Tampa Bay battering ram LeGarrette Blount (18 points) secured the win over Midwest and kept Rocky Brook’s slim playoff hopes alive.
   
   Tom’s big moment came when he shocked a 12-2 Dangerous Minds club in the first round of the 2008 playoffs. This was one of the biggest upsets in League history – Mike’s club was an absolute juggernaut all year – but 18 points from Pierre Thomas and 14 points from Carolina’s Steve Smith laid the wood to the Commish, and gave Tom his first Nelson Bowl appearance.
   
   
6. Midwest Marauders - The Marauders blew a tire last week against Rocky Brook after looking briefly like a team on the move in weeks 6 and 7. Benjarvis Green-Ellis has suddenly emerged as a consistent scoring threat in the backfield, which makes the absence of Stephen Jackson (on the bye) a little less painful this week.
   
   The high point for the Marauders is easy. After a terrific regular season when they piled up 9 wins, the Chicago boys got double-figure performances from all three running backs (Chris Johnson, Beanie Wells and Ladanian Tomlinson) to wrest the 2009 Nelson Bowl title from Tony.
   
   
7. Tony’s Phitin Camels - Tony heads into this week’s tilt against Midwest with DeAngelo Williams hurt, and Ronnie Brown facing Baltimore, so Mike Tolbert and Willis McGehee will be flanking Adrian Peterson in the Camel back field. Matt Schaub comes into this week as the number 15 ranked QB in our league in scoring, and this has really hurt Tony this year.
   
   Tony’s best day in the last three years came when they shaved Northboro 62-61 in Week 13 of the 2009 season. This was Tony’s only win in the last month of the year, but it was enough to get him to the playoffs and eventually a date with Hugh in the 2009 Nelson Bowl championship.
   
   
8. Northern Spies – They came within a hair of rising off the matt to smite the rampaging Gangsters, but Peyton Manning was terrific last week, as he has been all season. Rich has Ryan Turain, his best running back for the last month, injured and on the bye. So, he dusts off Fred Jackson and send him out against the Dangerous Minds this week.
   
   It’s been a few years since Rich has won a title, but he had a tremendous week managing in week 13 of 2007 that vaulted his team into the playoffs. He made two spot plays that week in his game against Rich Garvey. First, he sat Drew Brees and played Derek Anderson (14 points) who lit up Green Bay. Then, he played Patrick Crayton, who was Dallas’ third wide receiver at the time. Crayton, who had scored a donut in four of the five previous weeks, went for 14 as well, an
   

The Commish Speaks - Week 8

An early update this week as the Commish and family Thursday afternoon head south to the home quarters of the Georgia Satelites. This was a crazy and competitive week as several games went right down to the wire Monday night. Before we begin just some random thoughts from around the league.

• How badly out of shape is McNabb..being benched by Rex Grossman when the game is on the line? And to add injury to insult, Ryan Leaf wannabe JaMarcus Russell worked at in DC today.
  
• Colt punter Mac Affee, first name forgotten, ( hell I didn't know Carpenter's first name either until I picked him up on waivers this week-- I think his name is Jesus ) was suspended by the team one game for public intoxication. When asked why he was swimming in an Indianapolis lake in the middle of night, he answered politely, " because I'm drunk officer ". Mamma Mac told him never to lie.
  
• And finally Randy Mutt Moss...what a pooch..the hug he gave Belichek after the game I thought was a prelude to sex..I've never seen BB hold an embrace so long.
• Speaking of after game well wishes...BB heads to Cleveland this week where I'm sure he'll be having a cold one with former disciple Eric Mangini...I'm sure the only thing cold there will be the shoulder that Mangenius gets after the game. On to the recap:
  

GEORGIA SATELITES (6-2) 46
PHTIN CAMELS (2-6) 46
*** JOHN WINS ON BENCH POINTS 25-5 ***

At least the Satelite owner will be in good spirits when the Commish rolls into town Friday morning. His mood I'm sure will be cheery when two days EARLIER our Mother in Law ventures in the Peach state for an even longer visit. Monday night was a treat for the SATS as Adam Veniteri had several clutch FG's ( 13 pts ), and I'm sure the last Leinenkugel at Summitt was savored when Shaub, leading Tony's Camels to a garbage time TD and the upset, fumbled at the Colt 15. Tony rolled the dice on 2 Bill WR's and came up empty with Evans. Hines Ward is pacing himself for Week 13, ( he had a goose egg last week ). Along with Garv, John gets another schedule break as he gets the Oilers without Chris Johnson. What time do we hit the Summitt Sunday afternoon?

GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (7-1) 62
NORTHERN SPIES (2-6) 57

Sebasten Janikowski continues to drop weight at an alarming rate as the Raiders go postal for a second straight week. In examing the box score with his beloved Giants on a bye, the Mob Boss makes two great spot plays with Ricky the Weed Williams ( 8 ) and Marcedes Lewis the Cadallac of tight ends also chippin in with two scores. That was well played. For the game Spies, another RB goes down as Torrain who was a smart waiver pick is out, but he is on a bye at least next week. Brandon Marshall is playing like his intitals, BM...but on a bright WR note, Larry Fitzgerald celebrated Easter as he rose from the fantasy dead with two scores. I can't fault Fitzy as he has no one to throw him the ball. I'm sure he's hoping Curt Warner gets voted off Dancing with the B List Stars and comes back for one last run in the very mediocre NFC WEST where Mike Singletary has plaoff tickets printed up.

ROCKY BROOK OILERS (3-5) 45
MIDWEST MARAUDERS (2-6) 37

Here's the headline from this game: Marauders killed by Blount object. EXCELLENT pick up by Mr. Crossen who pulled no punches with this waiver selection as 18 points in the books led the way in this tight game. How many owners moped around all week after not having Kenny Britt in their lineups last week..( 29 points and seven beers later ) ouch. This week against a suspect SD pass defense he pulls a hamstring in the first quarter en route to a bagel number on the stat sheet. Disappointing loss for Hughie who was on a roll. Two key points: SJAX only 2 versus Carolina and Zack Miller's injury on a day when Jason Campbell looked like Daryl Lamonica.

DANGEROUS MINDS (5-3) 74
NORTHBORO STEROIDS (5-3) 64

If you had told me that I would score 74 points with the following: A-Rog with 3 - yes 3 points as he drowned in Revis Island, and two zeros from Chris Ivory( boy do I hate Saint Running Backs ) and Donald Brittle Brown, I would have checked your arms for track marks and had Rich D arrest you. Well, that's what happened. I won the game on the hands of Calvin Johnson ( 23 ) and the leg of Dan Carpenter (19). Bob scored well, but the killer was the zero from Mutt Moss against an improving but still young secondary. I had a 31 point lead going into Monday and the talents of Wayne and Foster made this close.

I picture Bob coming into the office this morning at 7:30..not touching emails, phones or a meeting with the Boss. He goes right to his lineup and removes the Mutt for the up and coming Mike Williams. I won't be surprised if we meet again in December.

---

GAME OF THE WEEK
NORTHBORO VS GANGSTERS

Rivers should absolutely feast against the worst pass defense in the league..look for 3 scores and over 300 yards in a game that should resemble a track meet. All three Jordan backs are at home. Garv welcomes back his NFC friends to the lineup this week and he says goodbye to his new best friend Lewis and also MJD. Rich has good depth at WR and has tough tough choices for his lineup. He's better be ready because I see points coming fast and furious from the angry Jordanians.

JOHN MY FRIEND, HAVE THE MUGS CHILLED BECAUSE WORK HAS BEEN A BEAR LATELY. BE WELL ALL.

COMMISH

The Commish Speaks - Week 7

At the half way mark you've got three guys enjoying penthouse accomodations, four guys in tenements, and one guy..in a townhouse..( me )..as you know anything can happen in the Nelson over the last half of the year, but the four at 2-5's have to follow the lead of George and 'Weezy Jefferson and start, " Movin' On Up "

NORTHBORO STEROIDS (5-2) 104
GEORGIA SATELITES(5-2) 64

This was scary impressive..Bob has Wayne, Clark, and Foster on the bye, but still manages to hit triple digits. Third time the charm for McFadden as he carved the Bronco D for 33 eye popping points. I knew Turner had to be big for the 'Roids to stay in the mix and he delivered with 19 big ones. I'm sure John and the Satelites were still basking in the afterglow of their thumping of the Comish the week before. I bet the week long bender would have made Charlie Sheen proud, but boy did he pay the piper. I will stand corrected as Hines Ward did score before Week 13. When I called down to Georgia at 7PM Sunday night John commented.." Boy am I sore ". Nuff said...

MIDWEST MARAUDERS(2-5) 68
NORTHERN SPIES (2-5) 29

Spies get caught for treason this week as Romo gets hurt, Mathews gets dissed and the strong WR troika hits for a whopping 5 points. Stephen pulled on his Celtic jersey by 4:30 last Sunday. For the Marauders, what a difference Big Ben makes to the lineup. Roddy White living up to the hype as he mangled the toothless Bengal secondary for 24 points. A Halloween warning..beware the Monsters of the Midway..

GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (6-1) 72
ROCKY BROOK OILERS (2-5) 65

This was a brutal sports weekend for the Oilers...Phillies lose, Eagles lose, and the hometown fantasy team drops a brutal contest. Poor Tom, he does the right thing and sits Kenny Barfly Britt, who was reported to not be starting...good safe play with the tons of depth with the WR's, but lo and behold, a career game awaits the slave to the grape as 3TD's and boatloads of yards later he single handedly buries the Birds....we've all had those nightmares...for Garv....pick a Manning, play a Manning, any Manning, the way this year is going, even the lawyer Cooper could be inserted into the Gangster lineup and he'd throw 3 TD's and 300 plus yards. MJD chipped in with a quiet 11 and a nifty play with kicker Janakowski..the guy who makes me look like Brad Pitt, lost 10 pounds waddling out to kick all those PATS last week. I hear their already printing playoff tickets at the Levittown Lions Club.


DANGEROUS MINDS (4-3) 81
PHITIN CAMELS (2-5) 68

Injuries and the byes put Tony in a tough spot against the Commish, but he was more than game as AP was huge and I hate to give my Rancocas buddy credit, but Steve Johnson was a great play. Did anyone see the Bills 34 points coming? I was down 4 going into the Monday night game and to be honest, I was singing the Boomtown Rats 80's classic " I Don't Like Mondays " all day long in the office. But Hakeem Nicks put this one away at 9:15 with a short TD catch in route to a 17 point night against the hated and hopefully dead Cowboys. Props out there to ESPN injury reporter and my new best friend Stephania Bell who's accurate reporting of Nicks and Gates gave the confidence to play both, and to their credit they came through as my backfield slumbered thru a less than inspiring 12 point outing.

---

GAME OF THE WEEK

DANGEROUS MINDS VS NORTHBORO STEROIDS

For once the guys who make up the odds have something right here. Bob is a 10 point favorite and he should be..his backfield matchups this week, even with Turner out are pretty tastee. Due to injuries and byes, I'm making roster moves I'm not thrilled about. Gore needs to have a HUGE game for me to stay close..if he gives me a pedestrain 7 poinjt effort I'm cooked. Bob's team is scary good right now so there's a good chance I'll be the victim of 'Roid rage this weekend.

EVERYONE ENJOY HALLOWEEN AND DON'T EAT THE CANDY UINTIL YOUR PARENTS HAVE CHECKED IT..

COMMISH

Jordan’s Power Rankings – week 8

There are times when humility does not come easily. At such times, the Nelson frequently metes out its harshest lessons.

In 1998, there were two fantasy football gold mines – two guys who stepped out of the shadows after draft day and delivered monster value for sixteen glorious weeks. One of them was Jamaal Anderson, a punishing tail back in the Michael Turner mode, who ran 410 times for 1864 yards and 14 touchdowns. He had 27 catches and 2 more scores receiving that year – a season workload so brutal it basically ended his career as an effective back. The other hot fantasy commodity was Randy Moss, a rookie wide receiver who got his shot when teammate Jake Reed went down with an injury in week 2. He caught 69 balls for 1313 yards and 17 touchdowns. Having either one of these guys was a ticket to fantasy nirvana for most owners that year.

I owned them both. Moss was my 14th round pick that year. My team roared through the regular season, and I went into the playoffs confident that I would bring home my third league title in four years. Instead, I lost to John Nelson in the first round of the playoffs – one of the most painful defeats of my career.

The same scenario repeated itself nine years later. The 2007 Northboro Steroids ran up almost 1000 points during the regular season – 150 points more than the second place club that year. That team relied on solid QB play from Tony Romo and some explosive season-long performances from Terrell Owens and Randy Moss. This might have been the best team I ever had – and I got smacked by the Desperate Housewives by five points in the first round of the playoffs.

In 2008, the Commissioner experienced the same series of unfortunate events – a 12-2 team during the regular season caught newcomer Tom Crossen on the wrong week, and lost a shocker 83-55 in the playoff opener.

This week, I have had a week long conversation with my son about who should be ranked #1 in the Nelson. Two teams have an argument – ourselves and Rich Garvey. Mike made the arguments in favor of Northboro being ranked first – and there are a number of good ones. However…

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – Statistically, the Steroids have it going on, but Richard G is 6-1, and that’s the only stat that really matters in the Nelson at this point in the season. Add to that the fact that Rich holds the tie breaker on Northboro due to their week 2 win over us, and they hang on to the top spot for this week. Last week, Rich was the happy beneficiary of the Giants’ 41-33 Point-O-Rama over the pathetic Cowboys. Eli Manning, Ahmad Bradshaw and the oft-maligned Mario Manningham combined for 36 points. This week, the Jints are on the bye, so Rich will have to find a way to scratch by with Peyton Manning at quarterback. Garvey heads to Franklin to face the Northern Spies this week.
   
   
2. Northboro Steroids – Last week, I went up against John without my best running back, and had to hire Price-Waterhouse to add up the results after Darren McFadden went nuclear for 33. I did not check this, but I believe that is a league record for points in a game by one player. The really scary part is that I would have won the game even if McFadden posted a whiff.
   
   Humility aside, these guys are good. Northboro heads into the second half of the year leading the league in points. The ‘Roids are averaging 70 points per game. Their average margin of victory is 27 points. They are five deep at running back. Even the kicker is having a great year – Rod Bironas is now leading all kickers in points for 2010.
   
   However, to quote the great philosopher Tommy Lee Jones, all that means exactly dick. Last year, we were 6-2 and missed the playoffs. This year, we start the second half by playing the terrifying Dangerous Minds. Let’s hope Phillip Rivers finds someone other than Antonio Gates to throw to.
   
   
3. Dangerous Minds – Mike’s minions are one point behind Northboro for the league lead in points. They have hit the jackpot with Giants wideout Hakeem Nicks, who is now second in the league in points from the WR/TE position – teammate Antonio Gates is first. The questions are all at running back, and the Dangerous One is staring right at you, Donald Brown. Brown is coming back from an ankle and is questionable this week. He’ll play, but how the mix with Mike Hart works on Monday night could determine the winner this week.
   
   
4. Georgia Satellites – John is 5-2 and should sail into the playoffs this season, despite the whuppin’ last week. Ray Rice takes a seat as John faces off with Tony’s Eagle-free Camels in week 8. The Space-master is leaving Beanie Wells (vs Tampa) and Percy Harvin (vs New England) on the bench this week in favor of Knowshon Moreno and Hines Ward. I think Harvin, in particular, is going to be a very tough matchup for the Pats this week, but with Brett Favre playing on one leg, it may be best to avoid Minnesota altogether.
   
   
5. Midwest Marauders – Of all the teams in the second division, this is the one you do not want to play right now. They’re a little banged up – Zach Miller and Pierre Garcon are both questionable – but they’ve won two straight and they are getting plenty of production from Ben Rothlisberger. The Steel City hound dawg has logged 31 points since his most recent hiatus ended. Hugh faces Rocky Brook without Roddy White, who is on the bye this week.
   
   
6. Tony’s Fight-in Camels – Scheduling eccentricities being what they are, Tony only gets to play Northboro twice a year. This is bad news for the hump-meister, because he’s 1-5 against the rest of the league so far. This week, Tony is in the unaccustomed position of playing fantasy football without his Philadelphia Eagles, which for this guy is like marching down main street without pants.
   
   The lineup looks good, though. Matt Schaub is facing off against Indianapolis in a game that should be a track meet. Santana Moss is facing the Lions secondary which is about as coordinated as the Keystone Cops. Tony made a terrific discovery in Buffalo wideout Steve Johnson, who has been spectacular the last few weeks. He faces the Georgia Satellites.
   
   
7. Rocky Brook – They have their moments. Tom made several excellent calls last week against Garvey, such as playing Thomas Jones (12 points) against hapless Jacksonville. Unfortunately, Kenny Britt (29 points), Dez Bryant (20 points) and Matt Ryan (19 points) sat on the bench. It is surprising to note that Matt Ryan (82 points) is outscoring Tom Brady (69 points) so far this season. The Pats’ more diverse passing game, which relies on shorter routes and spreads the ball around a lot more than last year’s edition, is harder for NFL defenses to scheme against, but is not doing Fantasy owners a lot of good.
   
   
8. Northern Spies – They have a disaster a week. Last week, their QB went down for the count as Tony Romo will spend the rest of the season nursing a broken clavicle. It is amazing that the underachieving Cowboys have not canned the clueless Wade Phillips yet. Phillips must have pictures of Jerry Jones cavorting with the cheerleaders or something, because you can easily build an argument that he is the worst head coach in the NFL. Carson Palmer will take over for Romo as the Spies try to pick up the shattered remains of their season against Garvey this week.
   
   

Jordan's 2010 Power Rankings - Week 7

Spoke too soon

The ink on last week’s column barely had time to dry as the Nelson League reasserted its central theme – we are all fools in the world of Fantasy Football. Teams that flexed their muscles and hooted over their success the first five weeks of the season were properly and severely humbled in week 6. The results for those of us on the pedestals were not pleasant. To take one example, the commish is dusting himself off after being slam dunked in Rice Bowl I by 44 points.

This week, we get to spend as much time talking about who is not playing as who is playing. Indianapolis, Houston, the New York Jets and the Detroit Lions are on the bye, taking 17 players who have been making regular lineup appearances off the table. Teams like the Gangsters, Northboro, and Georgia will be scrambling to fill holes in their lineups.

Injuries are also making a dent in some teams, most notably Dangerous Minds, who lost a lot of blood in their loss to John last week.

This week’s rankings…

1. Georgia Satellites – All questions have been answered. Ladanian Tomlinson shares “pick of the year” honors with Arian Foster. Rashard Mendenhall has emerged as a solid #1 running back, made all the more dangerous by the return of Big Ben Rothliberger in Pittsburgh. Austin Collie comes into this week as the #1 ranked receiver in the league, though an injury and a bye week will be slowing him down for a while. This club looks good, and they climb to the #1 slot in the rankings just in time to face an understaffed Northboro club.
   
   
2. Garvey’s Gangsters – They’re 5-1, their first loss coming against a stunned and prone Midwest club, who recorded their first win. Midwest has been playing possum all year, and Mr. Garvey’s unfortunate timing was to play Hugh the week he gets his QB back. Rich has not scored over 57 points since week 2, and three of his wins were in weeks when he scored less than 50. This week, Peyton Manning takes a seat in favor of brother Eli as Rich takes on Rocky Brook.
   
   
3. Northboro – During the halftime break at the draft, Brian and I were looking at week 7 with terror, as we realized that most of the players we’d picked had the week off. The receiver situation with Randy Moss, Terrell Owens and Brandon Lloyd is acceptable. The problem is we’re rolling with a banged up Darren McFadden, and Phillip Rivers will be throwing passes to Betty White. First round draft pick Michael Turner has scored one (1) touchdown so far this year. I will not be playing any running back against the New York Giants again this season.
   
   
4. Dangerous Minds - Here’s a little snapshot of Mike’s 2010 season so far:
   
   Top 3 Games in the Nelson in 2010 by margin of victory.
   
   
   
   • Week 2 Dangerous Minds over Northern Spies (44 Points)
     
   • Week 6 Georgia Satellites over Dangerous Minds (44 Points)
     
   • Week 5 Dangerous Minds over Midwest Marauders (43 Points)
     
   
   
   Mike has bye weeks and injuries to contend with. Calvin Johnson has the week off. Malcolm Floyd is hurt. Pierre Thomas is hurt. Mike’s waiver snatch of Chris Ivory (158 yards last week) was a brilliant moment in an otherwise dismal week. Mike would like you all to know that he is a nine point favorite against Tony this week.
   
   
5. Midwest Marauders – He unseated the #1 team in the league last week, and Ben Roethlisberger chipped in 17 – the second straight week that Hugh has picked the right quarterback. This is a far better team than the 1-5 record would indicate. This week, they’re lining up without Andre Johnson, but the three receivers they have rostered (Zach Miller, Michael Crabtree and Roddy White) have been scoring steadily for the last three weeks. White is leading all receivers in targets. If they stay healthy, this team should very dangerous over the remainder of the year.
   
   
6. Tony’s Fight-in Camels – They did it to us again! Playing this team makes me want to roll back and forth on my living room floor, man. Last week, DeSean Jackson played about five minutes, and scored two touchdowns before he found himself looking out his ear hole. That was all it took, as almost no one on the Steroids wanted to visit the end zone last week except Arian Foster. This week, Tony plays Mike without Matt Schaub.
   
   
7. Northern Spies – They led the league in scoring last week – a sign that Team Deslauriers is starting to get this mess sorted out. Ryan Torrain has been a revelation, and Tony Romo has been on fire. This week, things could get a little dicey with Romo facing the man-eating Giants defense. Rich got another injury to add to his long list - Joseph Addai should miss 4 to 5 weeks with a shoulder after having perhaps his best game as a pro.
   
   
8. Rocky Brook – Tom Brady and Chris Johnson continue to produce, but somehow a team that starts Kenny Britt and Danny Woodhead in the same week just doesn’t strike fear. They are playing the 5-1 Garvey’s Gangsters without Braylon Edwards and Shonn Greene.
   

Jordan’s 2010 Power Rankings – Week 6

Nelson League Rivalries - Head to Head

Rich Garvey is on top of the Nelson League world. His stunning 1 point win over John Nelson’s space men in week 5 was the kind of game that can make or break a season. So far, this season has been an anomaly for our league. Three teams are at 4-1 or better. The Dangerous Minds are suddenly leading the league in points scored. The other four teams are 4-16.

This is not the usual pattern with the Nelson. Last year, six clubs won between 6 and 8 games. In 2008, six teams won either 6 or 7 games. In 2007, five teams won between 6 and 8 games. So parity has been the rule in the Nelson over the last few years.

The big intra-family rivalry game, 2010 Rice Bowl I is on tap for this week. Over the last three seasons, John has a 4-2 advantage in Rice Bowls. This week, while we glance at each club, we’ll take a look at other rivalries in the Nelson based on the results over the last three years, plus the first five weeks of this year. Who owns who in the Nelson? Let’s take a look:

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – Rich has two one-point squeakers and a Novena-heavy Monday night win against Tony over the last three weeks. It’s not been pretty, but the Father of the Bride is 5-0, and not issuing apologies as of this writing, thank you for asking. He is doing this despite playing Mario Manningham week in and week out. Manningham is the #39 receiver in our league in points scored, and hasn’t scored a point in weeks. Is this guy a good luck charm?
   
   Richard Garvey owns Tony. He is 7-1 against Tony since 2007. He is 2-5 against Bob and Mike in that period.
   
   
2. Northboro Steroids – We held our breath every time the Jets entered the Red Zone Monday, as Braylon Edwards was one TD away from handing me my second loss of the season. A few passes were batted away at the last minute by Viking defenders. All my lost sleep could have been avoided if Tennessee had not had guys instructed to fall over at the 1 yard line to set up Chris Johnson for easy scores. The guy is well worth that #1 pick. It also would have been an easier weekend if Tom had not pulled Robbie Gould (14 points) out of his south end to kick for him. Terrell Owens had another nice week, and Brandon Lloyd is now here to improve the receiving corps.
   
   The close win against Tom pushed the Steroids to 4-1 on the year. They are second in the league in points, and managed to finish second in the league in points in week 5 despite Arian Foster laying an egg against the Giants, and both Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark getting stoned in Denver.
   
   I’ve had tremendous luck against Tom since he entered the league – I am 5-1 against him including the glorious win in the 2008 Nelson Bowl championship game. But I’ve really exceeded myself against John Nelson, against whom I am 6-0. I face John next week.
   
   Northboro is matched up against their Bete Noir – Tony’s Phight-in Camels – in week 6. The line says that we’re a 37 point favorite against the hump-meister, but you can forget all that. Tony has spanked me more times than a crazed nun at reform school over the last three years. Last year, I scored 92 against him in week 6, only to have him splooge for 101 and the win – his highest point total in a game ever. In week 13, he beat me 62-61, taking a dagger to my playoff hopes. I am 2-5 against Tony and Mike since 2007.
   
   
3. Dangerous Minds – All systems go. Mike laid 98 points on poor Hugh, burying him deep under an avalanche of early points. As if the current group isn’t productive enough, Mike is sitting on Malcolm Floyd, who put up 200+ yards and a score last week. This could be the league’s best club, but with two early losses, they’ll have to claw their way past the top two teams to get there.
   
   Mike has good records against many teams in the league, owing largely to his decadent 12-2 regular season record in 2008. He is 5-2 against Northboro, Garvey and Rich Deslauriers since 2007. The toughest matchup for Mike has been John, against whom he is 2-4. There’s blood in the water this week as a banged-up Minds team lines up for Rice Bowl I.
   
   
4. Georgia Satellites – John was dropped from the ranks of the unbeated last week, but is still comfortably positioned to coast into the playoffs. He gets a break this week because of Mike’s injuries – there are two game time decisions pending for the Minds, plus Aaron Rogers’ concussion to deal with. John is the only team in the league with a winning record against Mike since 2007. However, when Mr. Nelson is really looking to abuse someone, he seeks out Richard Deslauriers, against whom he is a merciless 7-1 over the last four seasons. On the flip side, John has not beaten Northboro in three years (0-6).
   
   
5. Rocky Brook – Tom lost a close one to Northboro last week, as Braylon Edwards was triple covered by the Vikings corner back, a safety, and Mother Nature, who dumped rain in buckets on the Jets – Vikes game. Tom made two great plays last week with Robbie Gould and the Giants Steve Smith combining for 24 points. This week, Tom faces the Northern Spies, who are fresh off their first win of the year.
   
   Tom has only been in the league since 2008, so the sample size is smaller. He gives Hugh fits (4-1) but has struggled against Northboro (1-5).
   
   
6. Fight-in Camels – Last week, Matt Schaub ran into a ferocious Giants defense, and Adrian Peterson ran head first into the Jets. The matchups this week will be better, particularly their matchup with Northboro, against whom Tony is 5-2 over the last three years. But Tony’s big fun comes by torturing John (6-1). He wakes up screaming when the Riches Garvey (1-7) and Deslauriers (1-6) come to town. Tony’s only win against The Garv was in last year’s playoffs.
   
   
7. Northern Spies – Rich finally caught a tail wind against Tony, and heads into the second half of the season a little more dangerous than his record would indicate. This week, Larry Fitzgerald sits down against Rocky Brook, and Rich is rolling against the Home Team by playing Derrick Mason against New England.
   
   Rich is another club that beats on Tony regularly (6-1). The guy he can’t stomach is John Nelson (1-7).
   
   
8. Midwest Marauders – Last year, everything broke right for this club. This year has been every bit as brutal as last year was glorious. Last week, Hugh scored a respectable 55 point, but he lost by 40 to the Minds. At halftime of the 1:00 games, Mike was up by 30, and it got worse from there.
   
   Hugh has Ben Rothlisberger back from suspension. Assuming the Pittsburgh Satyr doesn’t gets distracted and start chasing the cheerleaders during timeouts, he should be bolted into High’s lineup for the rest of the year. The bad news is that Cedrick Benson is on the bye, and Benjarvis Green-Ellis will be wearing his Ray Lewis costume this week.
   
   Since Hugh entered the league, Hugh has had good success against Tony (5 wins, including last year’s Super Bowl) and Rich Deslauriers (4 wins). He has lost 4 of 5 to Tom.