The Commish Speaks - Week 7

At the half way mark you've got three guys enjoying penthouse accomodations, four guys in tenements, and one guy..in a townhouse..( me )..as you know anything can happen in the Nelson over the last half of the year, but the four at 2-5's have to follow the lead of George and 'Weezy Jefferson and start, " Movin' On Up "

NORTHBORO STEROIDS (5-2) 104
GEORGIA SATELITES(5-2) 64

This was scary impressive..Bob has Wayne, Clark, and Foster on the bye, but still manages to hit triple digits. Third time the charm for McFadden as he carved the Bronco D for 33 eye popping points. I knew Turner had to be big for the 'Roids to stay in the mix and he delivered with 19 big ones. I'm sure John and the Satelites were still basking in the afterglow of their thumping of the Comish the week before. I bet the week long bender would have made Charlie Sheen proud, but boy did he pay the piper. I will stand corrected as Hines Ward did score before Week 13. When I called down to Georgia at 7PM Sunday night John commented.." Boy am I sore ". Nuff said...

MIDWEST MARAUDERS(2-5) 68
NORTHERN SPIES (2-5) 29

Spies get caught for treason this week as Romo gets hurt, Mathews gets dissed and the strong WR troika hits for a whopping 5 points. Stephen pulled on his Celtic jersey by 4:30 last Sunday. For the Marauders, what a difference Big Ben makes to the lineup. Roddy White living up to the hype as he mangled the toothless Bengal secondary for 24 points. A Halloween warning..beware the Monsters of the Midway..

GARVEY'S GANGSTERS (6-1) 72
ROCKY BROOK OILERS (2-5) 65

This was a brutal sports weekend for the Oilers...Phillies lose, Eagles lose, and the hometown fantasy team drops a brutal contest. Poor Tom, he does the right thing and sits Kenny Barfly Britt, who was reported to not be starting...good safe play with the tons of depth with the WR's, but lo and behold, a career game awaits the slave to the grape as 3TD's and boatloads of yards later he single handedly buries the Birds....we've all had those nightmares...for Garv....pick a Manning, play a Manning, any Manning, the way this year is going, even the lawyer Cooper could be inserted into the Gangster lineup and he'd throw 3 TD's and 300 plus yards. MJD chipped in with a quiet 11 and a nifty play with kicker Janakowski..the guy who makes me look like Brad Pitt, lost 10 pounds waddling out to kick all those PATS last week. I hear their already printing playoff tickets at the Levittown Lions Club.


DANGEROUS MINDS (4-3) 81
PHITIN CAMELS (2-5) 68

Injuries and the byes put Tony in a tough spot against the Commish, but he was more than game as AP was huge and I hate to give my Rancocas buddy credit, but Steve Johnson was a great play. Did anyone see the Bills 34 points coming? I was down 4 going into the Monday night game and to be honest, I was singing the Boomtown Rats 80's classic " I Don't Like Mondays " all day long in the office. But Hakeem Nicks put this one away at 9:15 with a short TD catch in route to a 17 point night against the hated and hopefully dead Cowboys. Props out there to ESPN injury reporter and my new best friend Stephania Bell who's accurate reporting of Nicks and Gates gave the confidence to play both, and to their credit they came through as my backfield slumbered thru a less than inspiring 12 point outing.

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GAME OF THE WEEK

DANGEROUS MINDS VS NORTHBORO STEROIDS

For once the guys who make up the odds have something right here. Bob is a 10 point favorite and he should be..his backfield matchups this week, even with Turner out are pretty tastee. Due to injuries and byes, I'm making roster moves I'm not thrilled about. Gore needs to have a HUGE game for me to stay close..if he gives me a pedestrain 7 poinjt effort I'm cooked. Bob's team is scary good right now so there's a good chance I'll be the victim of 'Roid rage this weekend.

EVERYONE ENJOY HALLOWEEN AND DON'T EAT THE CANDY UINTIL YOUR PARENTS HAVE CHECKED IT..

COMMISH

Jordan’s Power Rankings – week 8

There are times when humility does not come easily. At such times, the Nelson frequently metes out its harshest lessons.

In 1998, there were two fantasy football gold mines – two guys who stepped out of the shadows after draft day and delivered monster value for sixteen glorious weeks. One of them was Jamaal Anderson, a punishing tail back in the Michael Turner mode, who ran 410 times for 1864 yards and 14 touchdowns. He had 27 catches and 2 more scores receiving that year – a season workload so brutal it basically ended his career as an effective back. The other hot fantasy commodity was Randy Moss, a rookie wide receiver who got his shot when teammate Jake Reed went down with an injury in week 2. He caught 69 balls for 1313 yards and 17 touchdowns. Having either one of these guys was a ticket to fantasy nirvana for most owners that year.

I owned them both. Moss was my 14th round pick that year. My team roared through the regular season, and I went into the playoffs confident that I would bring home my third league title in four years. Instead, I lost to John Nelson in the first round of the playoffs – one of the most painful defeats of my career.

The same scenario repeated itself nine years later. The 2007 Northboro Steroids ran up almost 1000 points during the regular season – 150 points more than the second place club that year. That team relied on solid QB play from Tony Romo and some explosive season-long performances from Terrell Owens and Randy Moss. This might have been the best team I ever had – and I got smacked by the Desperate Housewives by five points in the first round of the playoffs.

In 2008, the Commissioner experienced the same series of unfortunate events – a 12-2 team during the regular season caught newcomer Tom Crossen on the wrong week, and lost a shocker 83-55 in the playoff opener.

This week, I have had a week long conversation with my son about who should be ranked #1 in the Nelson. Two teams have an argument – ourselves and Rich Garvey. Mike made the arguments in favor of Northboro being ranked first – and there are a number of good ones. However…

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – Statistically, the Steroids have it going on, but Richard G is 6-1, and that’s the only stat that really matters in the Nelson at this point in the season. Add to that the fact that Rich holds the tie breaker on Northboro due to their week 2 win over us, and they hang on to the top spot for this week. Last week, Rich was the happy beneficiary of the Giants’ 41-33 Point-O-Rama over the pathetic Cowboys. Eli Manning, Ahmad Bradshaw and the oft-maligned Mario Manningham combined for 36 points. This week, the Jints are on the bye, so Rich will have to find a way to scratch by with Peyton Manning at quarterback. Garvey heads to Franklin to face the Northern Spies this week.
   
   
2. Northboro Steroids – Last week, I went up against John without my best running back, and had to hire Price-Waterhouse to add up the results after Darren McFadden went nuclear for 33. I did not check this, but I believe that is a league record for points in a game by one player. The really scary part is that I would have won the game even if McFadden posted a whiff.
   
   Humility aside, these guys are good. Northboro heads into the second half of the year leading the league in points. The ‘Roids are averaging 70 points per game. Their average margin of victory is 27 points. They are five deep at running back. Even the kicker is having a great year – Rod Bironas is now leading all kickers in points for 2010.
   
   However, to quote the great philosopher Tommy Lee Jones, all that means exactly dick. Last year, we were 6-2 and missed the playoffs. This year, we start the second half by playing the terrifying Dangerous Minds. Let’s hope Phillip Rivers finds someone other than Antonio Gates to throw to.
   
   
3. Dangerous Minds – Mike’s minions are one point behind Northboro for the league lead in points. They have hit the jackpot with Giants wideout Hakeem Nicks, who is now second in the league in points from the WR/TE position – teammate Antonio Gates is first. The questions are all at running back, and the Dangerous One is staring right at you, Donald Brown. Brown is coming back from an ankle and is questionable this week. He’ll play, but how the mix with Mike Hart works on Monday night could determine the winner this week.
   
   
4. Georgia Satellites – John is 5-2 and should sail into the playoffs this season, despite the whuppin’ last week. Ray Rice takes a seat as John faces off with Tony’s Eagle-free Camels in week 8. The Space-master is leaving Beanie Wells (vs Tampa) and Percy Harvin (vs New England) on the bench this week in favor of Knowshon Moreno and Hines Ward. I think Harvin, in particular, is going to be a very tough matchup for the Pats this week, but with Brett Favre playing on one leg, it may be best to avoid Minnesota altogether.
   
   
5. Midwest Marauders – Of all the teams in the second division, this is the one you do not want to play right now. They’re a little banged up – Zach Miller and Pierre Garcon are both questionable – but they’ve won two straight and they are getting plenty of production from Ben Rothlisberger. The Steel City hound dawg has logged 31 points since his most recent hiatus ended. Hugh faces Rocky Brook without Roddy White, who is on the bye this week.
   
   
6. Tony’s Fight-in Camels – Scheduling eccentricities being what they are, Tony only gets to play Northboro twice a year. This is bad news for the hump-meister, because he’s 1-5 against the rest of the league so far. This week, Tony is in the unaccustomed position of playing fantasy football without his Philadelphia Eagles, which for this guy is like marching down main street without pants.
   
   The lineup looks good, though. Matt Schaub is facing off against Indianapolis in a game that should be a track meet. Santana Moss is facing the Lions secondary which is about as coordinated as the Keystone Cops. Tony made a terrific discovery in Buffalo wideout Steve Johnson, who has been spectacular the last few weeks. He faces the Georgia Satellites.
   
   
7. Rocky Brook – They have their moments. Tom made several excellent calls last week against Garvey, such as playing Thomas Jones (12 points) against hapless Jacksonville. Unfortunately, Kenny Britt (29 points), Dez Bryant (20 points) and Matt Ryan (19 points) sat on the bench. It is surprising to note that Matt Ryan (82 points) is outscoring Tom Brady (69 points) so far this season. The Pats’ more diverse passing game, which relies on shorter routes and spreads the ball around a lot more than last year’s edition, is harder for NFL defenses to scheme against, but is not doing Fantasy owners a lot of good.
   
   
8. Northern Spies – They have a disaster a week. Last week, their QB went down for the count as Tony Romo will spend the rest of the season nursing a broken clavicle. It is amazing that the underachieving Cowboys have not canned the clueless Wade Phillips yet. Phillips must have pictures of Jerry Jones cavorting with the cheerleaders or something, because you can easily build an argument that he is the worst head coach in the NFL. Carson Palmer will take over for Romo as the Spies try to pick up the shattered remains of their season against Garvey this week.
   
   

Jordan's 2010 Power Rankings - Week 7

Spoke too soon

The ink on last week’s column barely had time to dry as the Nelson League reasserted its central theme – we are all fools in the world of Fantasy Football. Teams that flexed their muscles and hooted over their success the first five weeks of the season were properly and severely humbled in week 6. The results for those of us on the pedestals were not pleasant. To take one example, the commish is dusting himself off after being slam dunked in Rice Bowl I by 44 points.

This week, we get to spend as much time talking about who is not playing as who is playing. Indianapolis, Houston, the New York Jets and the Detroit Lions are on the bye, taking 17 players who have been making regular lineup appearances off the table. Teams like the Gangsters, Northboro, and Georgia will be scrambling to fill holes in their lineups.

Injuries are also making a dent in some teams, most notably Dangerous Minds, who lost a lot of blood in their loss to John last week.

This week’s rankings…

1. Georgia Satellites – All questions have been answered. Ladanian Tomlinson shares “pick of the year” honors with Arian Foster. Rashard Mendenhall has emerged as a solid #1 running back, made all the more dangerous by the return of Big Ben Rothliberger in Pittsburgh. Austin Collie comes into this week as the #1 ranked receiver in the league, though an injury and a bye week will be slowing him down for a while. This club looks good, and they climb to the #1 slot in the rankings just in time to face an understaffed Northboro club.
   
   
2. Garvey’s Gangsters – They’re 5-1, their first loss coming against a stunned and prone Midwest club, who recorded their first win. Midwest has been playing possum all year, and Mr. Garvey’s unfortunate timing was to play Hugh the week he gets his QB back. Rich has not scored over 57 points since week 2, and three of his wins were in weeks when he scored less than 50. This week, Peyton Manning takes a seat in favor of brother Eli as Rich takes on Rocky Brook.
   
   
3. Northboro – During the halftime break at the draft, Brian and I were looking at week 7 with terror, as we realized that most of the players we’d picked had the week off. The receiver situation with Randy Moss, Terrell Owens and Brandon Lloyd is acceptable. The problem is we’re rolling with a banged up Darren McFadden, and Phillip Rivers will be throwing passes to Betty White. First round draft pick Michael Turner has scored one (1) touchdown so far this year. I will not be playing any running back against the New York Giants again this season.
   
   
4. Dangerous Minds - Here’s a little snapshot of Mike’s 2010 season so far:
   
   Top 3 Games in the Nelson in 2010 by margin of victory.
   
   
   
   • Week 2 Dangerous Minds over Northern Spies (44 Points)
     
   • Week 6 Georgia Satellites over Dangerous Minds (44 Points)
     
   • Week 5 Dangerous Minds over Midwest Marauders (43 Points)
     
   
   
   Mike has bye weeks and injuries to contend with. Calvin Johnson has the week off. Malcolm Floyd is hurt. Pierre Thomas is hurt. Mike’s waiver snatch of Chris Ivory (158 yards last week) was a brilliant moment in an otherwise dismal week. Mike would like you all to know that he is a nine point favorite against Tony this week.
   
   
5. Midwest Marauders – He unseated the #1 team in the league last week, and Ben Roethlisberger chipped in 17 – the second straight week that Hugh has picked the right quarterback. This is a far better team than the 1-5 record would indicate. This week, they’re lining up without Andre Johnson, but the three receivers they have rostered (Zach Miller, Michael Crabtree and Roddy White) have been scoring steadily for the last three weeks. White is leading all receivers in targets. If they stay healthy, this team should very dangerous over the remainder of the year.
   
   
6. Tony’s Fight-in Camels – They did it to us again! Playing this team makes me want to roll back and forth on my living room floor, man. Last week, DeSean Jackson played about five minutes, and scored two touchdowns before he found himself looking out his ear hole. That was all it took, as almost no one on the Steroids wanted to visit the end zone last week except Arian Foster. This week, Tony plays Mike without Matt Schaub.
   
   
7. Northern Spies – They led the league in scoring last week – a sign that Team Deslauriers is starting to get this mess sorted out. Ryan Torrain has been a revelation, and Tony Romo has been on fire. This week, things could get a little dicey with Romo facing the man-eating Giants defense. Rich got another injury to add to his long list - Joseph Addai should miss 4 to 5 weeks with a shoulder after having perhaps his best game as a pro.
   
   
8. Rocky Brook – Tom Brady and Chris Johnson continue to produce, but somehow a team that starts Kenny Britt and Danny Woodhead in the same week just doesn’t strike fear. They are playing the 5-1 Garvey’s Gangsters without Braylon Edwards and Shonn Greene.
   

Jordan’s 2010 Power Rankings – Week 6

Nelson League Rivalries - Head to Head

Rich Garvey is on top of the Nelson League world. His stunning 1 point win over John Nelson’s space men in week 5 was the kind of game that can make or break a season. So far, this season has been an anomaly for our league. Three teams are at 4-1 or better. The Dangerous Minds are suddenly leading the league in points scored. The other four teams are 4-16.

This is not the usual pattern with the Nelson. Last year, six clubs won between 6 and 8 games. In 2008, six teams won either 6 or 7 games. In 2007, five teams won between 6 and 8 games. So parity has been the rule in the Nelson over the last few years.

The big intra-family rivalry game, 2010 Rice Bowl I is on tap for this week. Over the last three seasons, John has a 4-2 advantage in Rice Bowls. This week, while we glance at each club, we’ll take a look at other rivalries in the Nelson based on the results over the last three years, plus the first five weeks of this year. Who owns who in the Nelson? Let’s take a look:

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – Rich has two one-point squeakers and a Novena-heavy Monday night win against Tony over the last three weeks. It’s not been pretty, but the Father of the Bride is 5-0, and not issuing apologies as of this writing, thank you for asking. He is doing this despite playing Mario Manningham week in and week out. Manningham is the #39 receiver in our league in points scored, and hasn’t scored a point in weeks. Is this guy a good luck charm?
   
   Richard Garvey owns Tony. He is 7-1 against Tony since 2007. He is 2-5 against Bob and Mike in that period.
   
   
2. Northboro Steroids – We held our breath every time the Jets entered the Red Zone Monday, as Braylon Edwards was one TD away from handing me my second loss of the season. A few passes were batted away at the last minute by Viking defenders. All my lost sleep could have been avoided if Tennessee had not had guys instructed to fall over at the 1 yard line to set up Chris Johnson for easy scores. The guy is well worth that #1 pick. It also would have been an easier weekend if Tom had not pulled Robbie Gould (14 points) out of his south end to kick for him. Terrell Owens had another nice week, and Brandon Lloyd is now here to improve the receiving corps.
   
   The close win against Tom pushed the Steroids to 4-1 on the year. They are second in the league in points, and managed to finish second in the league in points in week 5 despite Arian Foster laying an egg against the Giants, and both Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark getting stoned in Denver.
   
   I’ve had tremendous luck against Tom since he entered the league – I am 5-1 against him including the glorious win in the 2008 Nelson Bowl championship game. But I’ve really exceeded myself against John Nelson, against whom I am 6-0. I face John next week.
   
   Northboro is matched up against their Bete Noir – Tony’s Phight-in Camels – in week 6. The line says that we’re a 37 point favorite against the hump-meister, but you can forget all that. Tony has spanked me more times than a crazed nun at reform school over the last three years. Last year, I scored 92 against him in week 6, only to have him splooge for 101 and the win – his highest point total in a game ever. In week 13, he beat me 62-61, taking a dagger to my playoff hopes. I am 2-5 against Tony and Mike since 2007.
   
   
3. Dangerous Minds – All systems go. Mike laid 98 points on poor Hugh, burying him deep under an avalanche of early points. As if the current group isn’t productive enough, Mike is sitting on Malcolm Floyd, who put up 200+ yards and a score last week. This could be the league’s best club, but with two early losses, they’ll have to claw their way past the top two teams to get there.
   
   Mike has good records against many teams in the league, owing largely to his decadent 12-2 regular season record in 2008. He is 5-2 against Northboro, Garvey and Rich Deslauriers since 2007. The toughest matchup for Mike has been John, against whom he is 2-4. There’s blood in the water this week as a banged-up Minds team lines up for Rice Bowl I.
   
   
4. Georgia Satellites – John was dropped from the ranks of the unbeated last week, but is still comfortably positioned to coast into the playoffs. He gets a break this week because of Mike’s injuries – there are two game time decisions pending for the Minds, plus Aaron Rogers’ concussion to deal with. John is the only team in the league with a winning record against Mike since 2007. However, when Mr. Nelson is really looking to abuse someone, he seeks out Richard Deslauriers, against whom he is a merciless 7-1 over the last four seasons. On the flip side, John has not beaten Northboro in three years (0-6).
   
   
5. Rocky Brook – Tom lost a close one to Northboro last week, as Braylon Edwards was triple covered by the Vikings corner back, a safety, and Mother Nature, who dumped rain in buckets on the Jets – Vikes game. Tom made two great plays last week with Robbie Gould and the Giants Steve Smith combining for 24 points. This week, Tom faces the Northern Spies, who are fresh off their first win of the year.
   
   Tom has only been in the league since 2008, so the sample size is smaller. He gives Hugh fits (4-1) but has struggled against Northboro (1-5).
   
   
6. Fight-in Camels – Last week, Matt Schaub ran into a ferocious Giants defense, and Adrian Peterson ran head first into the Jets. The matchups this week will be better, particularly their matchup with Northboro, against whom Tony is 5-2 over the last three years. But Tony’s big fun comes by torturing John (6-1). He wakes up screaming when the Riches Garvey (1-7) and Deslauriers (1-6) come to town. Tony’s only win against The Garv was in last year’s playoffs.
   
   
7. Northern Spies – Rich finally caught a tail wind against Tony, and heads into the second half of the season a little more dangerous than his record would indicate. This week, Larry Fitzgerald sits down against Rocky Brook, and Rich is rolling against the Home Team by playing Derrick Mason against New England.
   
   Rich is another club that beats on Tony regularly (6-1). The guy he can’t stomach is John Nelson (1-7).
   
   
8. Midwest Marauders – Last year, everything broke right for this club. This year has been every bit as brutal as last year was glorious. Last week, Hugh scored a respectable 55 point, but he lost by 40 to the Minds. At halftime of the 1:00 games, Mike was up by 30, and it got worse from there.
   
   Hugh has Ben Rothlisberger back from suspension. Assuming the Pittsburgh Satyr doesn’t gets distracted and start chasing the cheerleaders during timeouts, he should be bolted into High’s lineup for the rest of the year. The bad news is that Cedrick Benson is on the bye, and Benjarvis Green-Ellis will be wearing his Ray Lewis costume this week.
   
   Since Hugh entered the league, Hugh has had good success against Tony (5 wins, including last year’s Super Bowl) and Rich Deslauriers (4 wins). He has lost 4 of 5 to Tom.
   

Jordan's Power Rankings 2010 – Week 5

Scoring by Position

This week features a great matchup between two undefeated clubs - Garvey’s Gangsters and the Georgia Satellites. Both clubs got to 4-0 last week, with John scoring a few more style points than Rich – he won by 24 while Mr. Garvey spent his Monday night praying in front of the TV set, as he squeaked by Tony.

After I got through screaming at the internet to tell me why Arian Foster was sitting on the bench sipping Gatorade Frost while Derek Ward was scoring on short TD runs, I conducted a short study of scoring by position. The methodology is this – take the scoring over the first four weeks, arrange the RBs and WRs in descending order of points scored, and compare results across the clubs. The results were interesting – even a little surprising.

A few bullet points that apply league-wide before we take a spin through the individual teams:

• So far this year, teams are averaging 57 points per week.
• The top scoring position in our league is QB (416 points for all teams through 4 weeks), followed very closely by RB1 (400 points). This means that almost 45% of all points scored in our league are scored by the QB or the top scoring running back.
  
  
• WR1s averaged 9.78 points per week through the first 4 weeks. So, if you feel good about that 85 yard, 1 TD effort from your stud wideout – save the trash talk because you’re just holding serve.
  
  
• Kickers score about half as many points as QBs – 7.16 points per week.
  
  
• RB3s and WR3s average less than 3 points per week. This was a shocker – very few teams do well in these slots. Looking at the numbers, I realized that this is really a 6 on 6 matchup league, because production from these slots is very unusual.
  
  
• Average Number of Points by position: QB (13), RB1 (12.5), RB2 (5.7), RB3 (2.41), WR1 (9.78), WR2 (4.72), WR3 (2.06), K (7.16).

This week’s rankings…

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – They win the Battle of the Byes this week in their matchup with the undefeated Satellites. Mr. Garvey will be playing this one at full strength while John comes to Levittown without Rashard Mendenhall. The Gangsters are banged up, though – Leshon McCoy and Ahmad Bradshaw are both questionable heading into the weekend.
   
   The highest scoring position in our league through 4 weeks is Rich Garvey’s quarterback slot (17 points per week) – regularly populated by this Peyton Manning guy. The third highest scoring position in our league is Rich Garvey’s RB1 slot That’s how you go undefeated, people. The interesting part of that RB1 number is that it’s been a different guy every week - McCoy scored 24 on Northboro week 2, Maurice Jones-Drew led the Garvey running backs in scoring last week, and Ahmad Bradshaw got it done in weeks 1 and 3.
   
   
2. Georgia Satellites – John will be trying to beat the league’s top-ranked team without his best running back. John has won games throughout his career in circumstances that would make a lesser man despair, so we will not be counting him out this week. Let’s line ‘em up and play!
   
   The Satellites are getting league-average production from their quarterbacks, and they are slightly ahead of the league average in the RB1 slot (13.75 ppw). The strength of this team is elsewhere. They are tied for second in the league in points from the WR1 slot (11.75), and they are leading the league in points from the RB2 slot at 8.5 points per game. Ladanian Tomlinson, baby.
   
   
3. Northboro – For the first time this year, the Steroids are a little banged up. Peyton Hillis, Jahvit Best, Michael Vick, and Darren McFadden are all hurt to one extent or the other. There little to whine about here, because they will face a Rocky Brook squad who is playing without Tom Brady. The Randy Moss trade means we get an extra week from one of the most explosive wide receivers in the league.
   
   Statistically, there’s good news everywhere. Seven of the top 24 players in the Nelson League are Steroids, including #2 (Arian Foster), #3 (Phillip Rivers) and #4 (Michael Vick). The Steroids are leading the league in points, and are scoring above the league average at every position except RB3.
   
   
4. Dangerous Minds – The Minds are rolling. Aaron Rogers is the #5 ranked player in the league, and Antonio Gates has scored more points than any wide receiver in the Nelson. Mike’s minions are scoring above the league average in six positions. He’s getting 13.5 points per game from the WR1 slot, which leads the league by almost 2 points. (Rocky Brook is second at 11.5). The Commish lines up against a stunned and prone Midwest team this week.
   
   
5. Fight-in Camels – Of the four remaining teams, this is one that comes out looking the best in statistical analysis. Tony has a deep receiving corps, and is leading the league in scoring from the WR3 slot, at 4.25 points per game. He is competitive at QB and, of course, RB1 where Adrian Peterson resides. The issue is the lack of explosiveness among his receivers. Outside of Deshawn Jackson, none of Tony’s receivers has scored 10 points in a game yet this year. Tony matches up against a struggling Northern Spies team this week.
   
   
6. Rocky Brook – This week’s analysis shows up some serious weaknesses with certain clubs, and Tom’s club is definitely one of those. Rocky Brook has scored 203 points through the first four weeks. The top 4 positions on this club (QB, RB1, WR1 and K), have scored 177 of those points. This means that the other 4 slots are scoring only 12.8% of Rocky Brook’s points. The good news is that if Tom can find someone – anyone – to help in those 4 slots, Rocky Brook becomes dangerous. The bad news is that if any of the big scorers has an off week, the Oilers will struggle. This week, Tom takes his schizophrenic ball club to Northboro – not an easy matchup.
   
   
7. Midwest Marauders – The defending champion has been struggling all year with injuries and poor luck, but this week could be a little different. The matchups are pretty scrumptious – Stephen Jackson against Detroit, Jamaal Charles against Indianapolis, Cedrick Benson against Tampa Bay.
   
   This has to raise some of Hugh’s per-position averages, because the numbers are really appalling in spots. For example, Midwest’s RB3 spot has contributed all of 3 points to the cause in the first four weeks of the season. The biggest hole, however, is at Quarterback – a position weakness this writer called out in the week 2 column. Midwest is averaging 5 points per week at this critical position – a stat that goes a long way to explaining the 0-4 start.
   
   
8. Northern Spies – The Spies have many of the same problems as Midwest, with the special added bonus of having fought injuries all over the roster all year. This week, Brandon Marshall is on the bye, but they should be fine plugging in Dustin Keller, who has been a Red Zone force so far.
   
   

   There’s hope. Ryan Torain is going to get a lot of touches as the replacement for the broken Clinton Portis, and last week’s 9 point performance was promising. Keller should never leave the starting lineup – he’s pretty much Antonio Gates once the Jets cross the 20 yard line. And Visanthe Shiancoe will enjoy roaming free underneath with Randy Moss drawing double coverage for the rest of the year. This club could be far more nasty as the season matures.
   
   

Jordan’s Power Ranking – Week 4

Waiting On the Pine

The bye weeks start tomorrow and extend through week 10 – seven weeks when the depth of our outfits will be tested to the max. This week while we line ‘em up in order, we take a quick look at the benches – guys who are not Chris Johnson and Drew Brees – to see which teams are set up to thrive on thin rosters.

Some interesting league-wide trends emerge from a study of bench points. The number of bench points scored by teams in the first three weeks has increased from 28.5 per team to 47 points per team in week 3. A big part of this is that we add players each of the first few weeks. Those first few waiver picks are lucrative – looking at this raw data, and not analyzing it too closely, one can leap to the conclusion that those players are pulling down almost ten points per game in week 3. So guys like Benjarvis Green-Ellis (10 points in week 3), Mark Clayton (22 points in 3 weeks), and Michael Vick (24 points in week 3) are probably headed for the starting lineups at some point during the bye weeks.

Not all benchies are equally valuable. If you have a kicker performing well on your bench, and another performing well in your starting lineup, the bench guy is window dressing until you hit a bye week or an injury occurs. Ditto the QBs we have squirreled away. If you are starting a Brady or a Manning or a Rogers, the QBs on the farm are for emergencies only.

Wide receivers and running backs are the real currency of a good Nelson League bench. If you have a good guy on your bench, you have decisions to make every week, based on matchups and hunches. The effective bench guys slide painlessly into your starting lineup during the bye weeks, when the Michael Turners and Chris Johnsons are off rehearsing for their next Nike commercial.

This week’s rankings…

1. Garvey’s Gangsters – Last week was not exactly pretty. Rich scored 49 points thanks to a fine juggle of the receiving corps – Marques Colston and Vernon Davis are very difficult guys to sit, but sit they did. That’s not the same as saying that playing Mario Manningham and Mark Clayton was an act of towering genius – they scored a modest seven points between them – but avoiding disaster is often as important as scoring big in this league.

The Gangsters are last in the league in bench points. This could spell trouble in the next seven weeks. But with Santonio Holmes arriving eventually, and guys like Jericho Cotchery to work with, this club has a deep receiving corp to help them get by. The running back situation is another story – the best they can do is Felix Jones.

2. Georgia Satellites – After John racked up 71 points to pound Midwest last week, Bri said to me – “It’s time to re-evaluate John’s club.” Indeed, this is the club that has exceeded expectations the most in my mind. They are still fifth in the league in points scored, but Austin Colle is emerging as this year’s Miles Austin – 20 last week, and he is now the #1 ranked wideout in our league.

John is next to last in Points on the Pine with 93 through the first 3 weeks. That looks deceptive, though, because there are at least three names on the bench – Ladanian Tomlinson, Tony Gonzalez and Hines Ward – who are perfectly usable in any week. This team is deeper than the numbers make them look.

3. Northboro Steroids – Last week, the #1 (Mikey Turner) and and #2 (Randall Moss) draft picks were money, scoring 11 and 14 points between them. Northboro is leading the league in points at 218 through 3 weeks, and except for Jahvit Best’s grade 2 turf toe, they are healthy. This club has it working at the moment.

The bench is also good news for the ‘Roids. They are leading the league in total bench points, averaging over 60 a game. Part of this is the management’s inability to pick the right players – Best’s 28 point effort week 2 was this year’s top “Pine Bomb” so far, and last week Michael Vick went for 24, although we get a pass for that (Phillip Rivers had 19). The gold here is having Darren McFadden and Peyton Hillis in the hole. That bodes well for the desert times coming up. The big problem is the lack of decent wideout options – although Mike Williams has been half decent (17 points through 3 weeks).

4. Dangerous Minds – Yeah, they’re 1-2, but they are second in the league in points scored, and both of their losses have been of the flukey variety. They scored well in week 1 but picked the wrong week to play Northboro. They lost last week to Rich Garvey (has that ever happened before?) when Green Bay played like the mid-90s Oakland Raiders. The rabbit I mentioned last week seems to have hopped a train for Mill Street Park to cheer on the Gangsters.

Mike has a terrific receiving option on his bench in Malcolm Floyd (22 points), but his backup running back situation is a little ugly – Donald Brown and Lawrence Maroney do not scare anyone.

5. Rocky Brook – I have not been a big believer in this club to date, but they are trundling along at 2-1, and their secondary players beyond Tom Brady and Chris Johnson are starting to produce. Anquan Boldin (31 points) is playing like a man possessed so far and Braylon Edwards (20 points) is clearly going to have some huge weeks as long as he can stay out of jail.

This is not a very deep club. The question marks are with the running game primarily, and we’re all staring at you, Shonn Greene. This week, Tom is taking Shonn for a test drive in a matchup against Buffalo. We’ll see if he gets some red zone love with Tomlinson playing like a kid out there.

6. Fight-in Camels – And here we have Exhibit A in our list of reasons you need running back depth to survive the bye weeks. This week, Tony goes against the top-ranked Gangsters in what would be a winnable game for the Camels if they had Adrian Peterson. They don’t – he’s on the bye. (Rich Garvey getting lucky bounces? Is that Jesus at the door?) So Tony will apparently be plugging in Camel favorite Willis McGehee – against Pittsburgh, if you please.

Tony has Ronnie Brown (16 points) on the bench against New England this week. It’s clear that I like Brown better than the head Camel does. Tony has a menu full of tasty options at wideout, including Donald Driver (17 points), Carolina’s Steve Smith (19 points) and Kevin Walter (27 points). The depth is there. There is no replacing Adrian Peterson, but this team should be fine after this week.

7. Midwest Marauders – This year ain’t last year, and it’s really been the injuries that have hurt the Chicago Mob so far. Stephen Jackson is questionable this week, so Hugh heads into the contest against a radioactive Steroids club with both Jackson and Jamaal Charles (bye week) sidelined.

In their place, he’s plugging in Justin Forsett and Benjarvis Green-Ellis. Not exactly the names you would hope to see, but Hugh is hoping for a much-needed break this week. The name I’m surprised to see taking a seat this week is Jonathan Stewart, who is always an interesting play although he’s been very quiet (8 points) so far this year. In the passing game, Chris Cooley (15) is all they’ve got.

8. Northern Spies – This beleaguered outfit has spent most of the season with their bench players filling in for injured starters, so any discussion of the bench is a little warped. When Ryan Matthews is playing every week – and he’s probable this week - Brandon Jackson (11 points) rides the pine. They have been saving Jeremy Maclin (30 points) for later, Later is now – he’ll be in for Visanthe Shiancoe (13 points – on the bye) this week.